Trump promises to inform public of the commencement of WWIII (3)

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

"You'll be the first to know", promises Trump

By Executive Order, President Trump has hired an outside PR firm to inform the American people approximately 5-10 minutes before the outbreak of WWIII. It will be the PR firms' additional responsibility to send an e-mail to the Joint Chiefs of Staff at least 30 minutes prior to commencement of WWIII.

Trump has chosen this method of informing the appropriate people instead of making an Oval Office announcement. The reason, according to SHS, is that Trump and his family will be inspecting the underground  nuclear bomb shelter at SAC (Strategic Air Command) Headquarters in Nebraska at the precise time of the beginning of his Fury and Fire nuclear policy.

In a press release today, Sarah Huckabee Sanders said... "The president's visit to inspect the underground nuclear bomb- proof facilities will prove, without a doubt, that Trump is not a Moron".

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Move over Oscar, Make room for Harvey!

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

In a purloined draft press release, WikiLeekZ has learned that the Academy Award Foundation will announce a new category.

The draft release in its entirety follows...

"Starting in April 2017, at the Awards Ceremony, 'a  new award, the HARVEY, will  be presented to the person in the entertainment business who best exemplifies  the most egregious sexual predator of the year.

The Harvey was named in honor of Harvey Weinstein, who will be the initial recipient. At the same time, cheap, small fake replicas will be awarded to Roger Ailes (posthumously), the 2  Bills...Cosby and O'Reilly and to  Donald Trump.

The award will be a 3 inch tin phallus taken from a plaster cast of one of the recipients”.

The draft press states that

 “Harvey will be cited for an amazing ability to fool himself into thinking that such an unattractive man would want to be gazed at while bathing or masturbating by young, beautiful, talented women. He tricked himself into believing it and then ACTED upon such a preposterous supposition! What skill and devotion”!

WikiLeekZ has also learned that Gloria Allred has agreed to present Harvey with the first Harvey.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 “I did not call the President a Moron a dolt, a dunce or a dullard; Fake Newz”! - Rex Tillerson said in response to an NBC report.

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Today, in a hastily called press conference, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson (‘Tillie’, as Trump affectionately calls him), forcefully said that “he did not call Our Dear Leader a Moron a dolt, a dunce or a dullard”.

“I distinctly recall that it was General Mattis who called him an Unbelievably Moronic Imbecile”.

“Or was it General Kelly? Maybe McMaster. I think it was Kelly who may have called him an Unmitigated Idiot who shouldn’t even be a low level gofer in the Department of Agriculture.  Perhaps he meant golfer”.

Tillerson continued by saying that...

“It was after Mattis, Kelly and I had a few drinks and were reading and roaring about Trump’s latest Tweets. We call it ‘R & R’ in the White House”.

“I think I topped them all when I referred to Our Great Leader as  A lazy, stupid, crazy, irresponsible Dotard. I got Dotard from Kim*…good Karma, no”? That’s spelled D O T A R D.

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* Kim Jung Un  called Mr Trump a “mentally deranged U.S. dotard”

WHAT IF?

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

What If only Blacks and Latinos owned guns?

What If the NRA was banned from campaign donations?

What if the dead mass murder victims could speak?

What if tourists stayed away from Las Vegas starting today?

What if Jesus wrote an Op-ed?

What if pet dogs and cats were slaughtered by guns in public every day in America?

What if every federally elected official had a family member killed or wounded in LV?

What if public ballistic mass destruction of American Flags took place every day?

What If?

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

NOT What If…13,286 people were killed in the US by firearms in 2015, according to the Gun Violence Archive, and 26,819 people were wounded

Cash and Carnage…an American Tradition

NRA & NFL set to sign Pact

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has it on good authority* that the NRA is going to make a proposal to the NFL. Their plan is to encourage its membership to bring their guns to Sunday football games.

Those NRA members bringing fully loaded AK 47's will be treated to a Skybox seat. If you're carrying a hunting rifle or other long gun, a field level seat will be at your disposal and packing any hand gun will allow you to sit in 50 yard line seats.

Seating arrangements will be partially paid for by Smith&Wesson, Colt and other arms manufacturers. Johnson&Johnson which expects to continue selling at least 20% of its medical supplies due to gunshot wounds, Fox News and Forest Lawn Cemetery will pick up the rest of the tab.

According to the leaked Pact draft, one of the NRA's best arguments for this arrangement is that if the football players take a knee instead of properly honoring the Flag, there's a good chance that one or more of the players will be shot as an example to all other protesters.

Trump, all nationally elected Republicans and even some Democratic congressmen have agreed to support this effort by the NRA in an attempt to boost gun sales and by extension, continue these uniquely American traditions of mass carnage and cash to politicians.

The NRA has been heartened by the House and Senate's previous inactivity after Columbine, Newtown and Orlando.

Trump is set to deliver his speech in Las Vegas tomorrow...the final rewrite of his speech has already been e-mailed to him by the NRA PR department.

*WikiLeekZ's high school campaign manager went on to be an important cog in the NRA machinery...and is now leaking secret NRA memos.

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Legislators and President take vital steps to stop mass murders

Praying and Preying…the Words of the Day

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

All across the country, from Republican mayors to the President, elected officials are doing all in their power to stop this uniquely American style carnage. In their many messages of concern, they are echoing the president’s words of prayer…

“for every American who has been hurt, wounded or lost the ones they loved so dearly in this terrible, terrible attack,”

They are also praying “for the entire nation to find unity and peace, and praying for the day when evil is banished, and the innocent are safe from hatred and from fear”

.

Praying is a sure-fire way of stopping these mass murders by crazy people using automatic assault-style guns to Prey on innocents.

What else could these Congressmen, Senators and the President do to stop the carnage?

WikiLeekZ pulled the trigger and consulted the NRA…which responded that they had absolutely no idea of what else but Prayer could be done to stop the carnage.

Preying upon the fears of federally elected officials losing NRA support seems to be the modus operandi of the times.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Chief Duffer Plays a Round… Puerto Rico Suffers on the Ground

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

President Trump saw fit to play a  golf game instead of actually playing president.

Instead of rolling up his sleeves and overseeing US aid to PR as Commander in Chief, he donned a Polo shirt, spikes & MAGA hat and hit the links this weekend at Bedminister.

Trump has yet to link that being president means that he can and should actually help real Americans survive natural disasters such as being hungry, thirsty and in need of medicine.

It's rumored that the whole Trump clan will fly to PR on Tuesday in order to scout out future hotel and golf course locations which they can snap up at bargain prices if the crisis can be extended a few more weeks.

They figure that at five hundred deaths, property values will really start to plummet in PR!

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