Written August 1, 2018

Trump Hires More Researchers

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game

Trump’s daily dose of Fox & Friends combined with his own ‘best words’ lie-manufacturing machine simply has not been able to keep up with Trump’s preferred daily lie quotient.

WikiLeekZ has learned that President Trump has hired at least 2 dozen additional researchers to uncover and catalogue even more lies, prevarications, untruths, falsehoods, fictions, fabrications and fallacies.

It turns out that according to the Washington Post today, Trump has averaged 6.5 lies per day since he became president. At that rate, his Lie Shop, staffed by a mere 10 crack researchers, was able to keep up with his prevaricating pace.

However, since July Trump has upped his game to an astounding 16 falsehoods per day which simply overwhelmed his Lie Shop staff. Even the temporary help of Judge Roy Moore, Sean Spicer and Don, Jr could not keep up with the tsunami of untruthfulness emanating from the Liar in Chief.

In addition, as the Mueller investigation heats up, Russian problems grow and with the mid-terms on the horizon, the White House is planning to increase the Lie Shop by a factor of two and move the whole operation to a wing of the Pentagon. This move will accommodate the Lie Shop staff and all of the computers and vetting research material needed to manufacture an estimated 34 lies per day that will soon be needed by the Liar in Chief. In addition, a Russian language component is being assembled.

Trump is preparing a Rose Garden briefing that will extoll the increase in good, high-paying research jobs emanating from the White House. He will say, in all truthfulness, that before he became President, this, until now, highly secret research department did not even exist in any other administration and now is staffed by approximately 150 highly educated professionals and their support staff.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Written August 4, 2018

Trump Denied Entrance to LeBron’s I Promise School

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is our Game

Just days after LeBron James paired with the Akron School District and opened the I Promise School for at-risk kids...

Trump tweeted today...
“Lebron (sic) James was just interviewed by the dumbest man on television, Don Lemon. He made Lebron (sic) look smart, which isn’t easy to do. I like Mike”.

Because Trump has been berated and ridiculed for his lack of scholarship and desire for study, he had decided to enroll in the LeBron James I Promise School in Akron, Ohio just to prove how smart he is.

However, WikiLeekZ has learned from our Akron, OH stringer that President Donald Trump failed to pass the most rudimentary spelling and grammar tests needed to qualify for admittance into James’ newly opened Akron I Promise School.

Trump had already badly failed the preliminary good citizen test as well as the ‘NOT a danger to the Nation’ test, but, given his office, could have had a special entrance waiver had he passed the simple spelling and grammar tests.

When he applied to the new school, Trump evidentially misunderstood that the James-funded school was for ‘at risk’ students, not open to those who would put the nation ‘At Risk’. He also thought that being enrolled in an Ohio school would help him win the presidency in 2020...Ohio being a toss-up state.

Through the school principal’s office, James issued the following statement...

‘While we appreciate the president’s interest in enrolling in our school, he must understand that even though he is president, he must follow the rules in our school charter. ‘At risk’ students does not mean as dumb as the president, it just means that they simply need an opportunity of achieving their potential as good, honest, we’ll-educated citizens of our country’.

‘We, at the I Promise school realize that the president may be disappointed, but there is always the possibility that with earnest study and lessons in civil discourse and civic responsibility, there is an outside chance that he may be able to qualify under the ‘special needs’ student clause in our charter sometime in the future.

‘I would put the chances at about the same % age as the Lakers beating the Warriors for the championship this year’.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Written  August 11, 2018

Congress gives Trump a new JOB and TITLE to add to his portfolio.

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game

Because of his recent tweet that nearly caused the world to plunge into an atomic war, an economic depression and/or a cyber meltdown, Congress, by an overwhelming margin of 95% has given Trump a new JOB and TITLE.

Statement from Joint Congressional Leadership and Supreme Court...

‘From this day henceforth, President Trump will no longer be burdened with the onerous duties of POTUS. Instead, he will become the nations’ first Jester-in-Chief. Until the 2020 presidential election is held and a new President is sworn in, a bi-partisan group of 5 US citizens chosen by popular vote, in a special election held within 7 days, will run the country.

Donald J Trump, Jester-in-Chief, will not be asked to do anything different than what he’s been doing for the past 2 years. The difference will be that everyone in the world will understand that he is entertaining all of us with his incredible tweets, actions and statements which will have absolutely no practical effect except to bring much needed humor in the world.

He can tweet, hold rallies, call Fox & Friends, play golf, rage, play around or even make fun of whomever he chooses. Nothing he does from this day henceforth will be taken seriously by anyone, anywhere. Trump will have no power whatsoever to do anything except to keep the nation in stitches by his pronouncements. Everyone will be free to laugh, snicker or boo Trump in his new capacity as Jester-in-Chief.

In January 2021, when the Jester-in-Chief leaves the White House, after the new president is sworn in, US Marshalls will escort Trump to Robert Mueller’s office and the investigation will continue.

The incoming president will not only take the Oath of Office, but agree that she/he will not pardon Trump or any member of his family for any crimes that they may be found to have committed’.

And that, my friends, is how this sad and dangerous period of our history will conclude.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Helsinki Is the New Munich

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Munich ...”Peace for our time”- Neville Chamberlain
Helsinki... “Putin is a “good competitor” and Mueller’s inquiry as “a disaster for our country.”-Trump

Trump trades soccer ball for Putin’s Gooooooals

In a press conference that WikiLeekZ is calling....’HELSINKI is the NEW Munich’...

Trump trashed the United States, all US intelligence agencies, Hillary, the Democratic Party, Mueller’s investigation, logic, reality and FBI agent Strzok and in turn, made Putin his new best friend.

Trump wiped beads of sweat from his brow when Putin was asked a question of whether he has compromising material on Trump.

Putin’s answered that he didn’t know Trump was in Moscow when Trump came to Russia in 2013. Which, by the way, is a lie.

As agreed upon earlier in their one-on-one meeting, Trump ceded Alaska back to Russia for cleverly evading that question.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday.

Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

(That is a (REALLY,TRUE)! statement)

Today, in a (REAL, TRUE) message to the Washington Post, the White House claimed that John Kelly looked 'displeased' at (the) NATO summit because 'because he was expecting a full breakfast and there were only pastries and cheese'

The White House statement went on to state that US Representative to NATO, Kay Bailey Hutchinson and Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo were similarly distressed because Frosted Flakes and Captain Crunch were not served at breakfast and stressed that they covered up their chagrin somewhat better than Kelly did.

In the 3^rd paragraph of the memo to WaPo, the White House wrote that the really big deal was that the president was apoplectic because he didn’t get his requested McDonald’s Bacon, Egg and Cheese McGriddle and an Egg McMuffin!

‘The whole breakfast thing was rigged’, he shouted to no one in particular. And, according to the White House statement…that’s the very understandable reason he went on that German-Russia-NATO 4% for defense rant at the breakfast meeting.

WikiLeekZ has obtained an exclusive statement directly from the Head Chef of the upcoming State Dinner in Brussels …

‘I have placed an order at the McDonald’s Brussels location at Place de la Bourse 3, for 2 Big Macs, a large order of Fries and an Apple Pie to be served to the President of the United States at the State Dinner…all to be washed down with Diet Cokes’.

Queen Elizabeth has taken note of the Brussels breakfast meeting. So as to avoid unnecessary acrimony at the Windsor Castle High Tea, the Queen, herself, called the McDonald’s in Windsor at 13-14 Thames Street, and ordered a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, Large Fries and a Fish Sandwich along with a Diet Coke…all to be delivered at 5 pm, in time for High tea at Windsor Castle.

Who says that détente is dead?

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Trump to Putin…It was Rigged!

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

The president left for England today with his crack investigative team including Sean Hannity and Rudolph Giuliani, where he will be looking into why England is still in the World Cup Tournament and Russia is not. He will be whining to Prime Minister May about the unfairness of the process.

He will staunchly defend the fact that Russia was cheated and that tomorrow’s match should be England-Russia

Later in his trip, after meeting in Brussels for a Nato meeting, President Donald Trump will be bringing a very important, secret dossier to Putin that outlines how NATO has plotted against both Russia and the USA to deny their rightful place in the panoply of FIFA nations.

Trump will site numerous, irrefutable facts that the Fake News has not reported on...facts such as:

Brussels is home to NATO
Brussels is the capital of the European Union
All 4 World Cup finalists nations are NATO members

The dossier further posits that, taking a cue from past Russian and Soviet Union mis-deeds, these salient points…

President Trump had Breitbart investigate…which discovered bribes, rigging and drugs working against Russia

FIFA put Russia into the most difficult group alongside perennial powerhouses Saudi Arabia and Egypt

FIFA even kept the US out of Tournament

Because of all of this explosive, damning information...Trump is prepared to withdraw the US from NATO and form a defensive union with Russia, China and North Korea. Trump states that he has forged excellent relationships with leaders of those countries…not so much with NATO and others.

He will be contacting Brazil, Italy, Spain and Germany to determine their interest in such an alliance.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

‘Pro Lifers’ ??...Really??

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

The ‘Pro-Life’ crowd has requested Webster’s, the New Oxford Dictionary,  the Encyclopedia Britannica and others to change their definitions of ‘Pro-Life’ from simply anti-abortion or anti-euthanasia to be more in line with their over-all philosophy of life.

They are petitioning these venerable English language institutions to include the following terms in the ‘Pro-Life’ definition so as to better reflect their ‘Pro-Life’ stand.

Anti-health care for all

Pro-death penalty

Pro-infant immigrant incarceration

Pro-Muslim ban

Pro-fetus even when Mother’s life is in danger

Anti-LGBT

Pro-Guns

Anti-Hillary & Pelosi

Pro-Trump

The ‘Pro-Lifers’ want to be sure everyone understands exactly where their morality lies.

“We are ‘Pro-Life’ and also for all of the above positions. If that seems inconsistent, un-Christ-like or immoral to you…Live with It. We do”.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday