trump depressed and Pissed Off At Hamas

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has it on good authority that trump is walking the halls of Mar-a -Lago in the middle of the night and railing at Hamas - shouting to anyone awake that Hamas is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“I just can’t get a break” , trump frets – “as if the war in Ukraine, the earthquake in Afghanistan (which killed 2000 people), the Baseball Playoffs, McCarthy’s demise, the auto, Kaiser and Hollywood strikes and Taylor Swift wasn’t enough to topple me from the daily news cycle, Hamas had to go and  invade Israel just when my trials and fund raising were peaking”.

So what’s a depressed, fuming former president to do, WikiLeekZ asks? WikiLeekZ’s sources divulge trump’s plan to move the press off of those recent trivial matters. trump has decided that to turn the media’s attention away from Hamas et al and back to critical hourly coverage of trump, he’s going to engage in an illegal action - “the likes of which no one has ever seen”.

WikiLeekZ is Not the Newz, But May Be Someday

 

 

 

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ Interviews GOD

WikiLeekZ, in its latest talk with GOD, questioned GOD about Marjorie Taylor Greene’s (MTG’s) latest assertion that GOD had a hand in the recent Burning Man desert flooding. MTG remarked in an interview with ‘leading journalist’, Alex Jones, (referring to Burning Man), that “because Burning Man had made a mock sacrifice before the weather became treacherous, God has a way of making sure everyone knows who God is.”

“Hey”, GOD strongly retorted, “the Burning Man flooding was caused by Mother Nature with a lot of help from the ongoing Climate Crisis, I had nothing to do with it. Ditto for hurricane Idalia, Hilary, the Phoenix heat and Canadian wildfires.”

“What, do you think that everyone in Florida, Palm Springs, Phoenix and Canada are devil-worshipping, God-denying scoundrels? I’ll have to have a heart to heart with this MTG, but my experience is that these so-called, holier-than-thou Christians such as her are the world’s biggest hypocrites and most ignorant, unbearable people I’ve created.”

“In my opinion, reasoning with MTG is a fool’s errand and I don’t think I can do much about Mother Nature. It’s up to your kind to do something about climate change-or, I warn you, there’ll be many more MTG’s in your future!”

WikiLeekZ is NOT the Newz, But May Be Someday

 

Champagne Corks Pop in Colt, Smith & Wesson and Winchester offices

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Wacko Americans pretty much covered the entire nation by celebrating their day of independence and their 2^nd Amendment rights by mass murders from DC to Baltimore, Akron,  then Tampa, Ft Worth and Shreveport, Lansing and Hayward, CA.

American gun and ammo manufactures rejoiced again this Independence Day holiday - basking in the financial glow of a near record holiday mass shooting spree while the Gun Lobby reminded investors that they will never go wrong by investing in American’s propensity to kill their fellow Americans with firearms.

American firearm and ammunition manufacturers now consider the July 4^th holiday as their most sacred day on the calendar year.  Because 2023 will go down in the annals of domestic ‘shootings for profit’ by the sheer number of ‘down incidents’  (their polite term for the dead and wounded) in one holiday weekend. Champagne corks and pop tops are popping in Colt, Smith& Wesson and Winchester corporate offices today as sales figures are announced.

“Thoughts and Prayers”

Americans have always been smug and condescending when the topic of Aztec human sacrifices on their cultural altars are studied.

However, Americans have no right to be so supercilious and arrogant when this holiday alone, we have sacrificed 15 Americans to their death and almost one hundred more wounded on the altar of ignorance, greed and politics.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

 

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up!

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Amid searing temperatures (of up to 115 degrees), Texas governor, Greg Abbott, signed a new law last week that will block Austin and Dallas from implementing measures that would require construction workers to get a 10-minute water break every four hours. – WBUR Boston

WikiLeekZ believes that Abbott was backed in this decision by the ‘Texas Outdoor Construction Consortium’ which also suggested to Abbott that in addition, he implement an executive order outlawing bathroom breaks on company time and banning lunch and coffee breaks during a typical eight hour work day.

In a statement, Abbott’s spokesperson pontificated that these changes will make Texas the most productive state in the union and that the collateral damage of only a few dozen workers dying of heat stroke is well worth the bottom line for the companies within the ‘Texas Outdoor Construction Consortium’.

WikiLeekZ is not the Newz, But May Be Someday

 

Putin -  Machiavellian or Just a ‘Paper Tiger’?

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game.

Ever since Putin invaded Ukraine, he’s ruthlessly beaten and imprisoned any Russians publicly opposed to his invasion. Russians who dared speak out publicly against the war in Ukraine faced beatings, long prison terms or worse. It was easy for this big, strong, horseback-riding, judo champion and star hockey player… sitting at the end of his 50’ long table in the Kremlin to order his thugs and helmeted FSB into the streets of Moscow and St Petersburg to ‘restore’ order.

Oh sure, it was easy for Putin to send in his FSB thugs to beat, round up and imprison unarmed students, artists and activists who demonstrated in the streets against the Ukraine invasion. It was easy for Putin’s minions and apparatchiks to broadcast lies and his interpretation of history on his state-controlled media and to arrest those who attempted to get out the true facts on TV or the internet. It was easy to allow those ‘troublemakers’ to flee Russia in the beginning days of the war so as to lessen the number of dissenters in Russia.

It was easy for this Paper Tiger to permit Prigozhin to do his dirty work in Africa and Syria and to profit from the bounty of mineral resources that Prigozhin-Putin’s Chef, divided up with this Paper Tiger.  

When Prigozhin and his loyal mercenaries marched from Ukraine to Rostov-on-Don as easily as driving from Des Moines to Omaha, this coward, Paper Tiger was not heard from for a good while and his top two military leaders - Valery Gerasimov  and Sergei Shoigu remain out of sight and are either in prison, planning a coup or dead.

Shortly after calling Prigozhin a traitor as he marched toward Moscow, Putin showed his stripes and pardoned Prigozhin for traitorous acts…in essence, begging him to go to Belarus and then granted amnesty to his troops.

Coward, Paper Tiger or brilliant Machiavellian?

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday   

 

 

Not So Surprising Pardon Bombshell !

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

A Cautionary Tale

A few days before trump left office as president, he asked his valet for the WDC Yellow Pages. Then after everyone had gone home for the day, he thumbed through the book in the ‘N’ section and found what he was looking for -  a Notary Public.

He called Notaries R Us - 24/7 and got Annabelle Van der Boomer on the line. After a few minutes, trump convinced Miss Van der Boomer to come over to the White House for a few minutes of work…when she demurred, he offered her an ambassadorship to a small Pacific island nation.

With that bonus included, Miss Van der Boomer agreed and a few minutes later entered the White House through a secret back door. There, she was met by trump wearing his Asian-style red silk robe emblazoned with both the presidential seal and a North Korean flag.

trump led Miss Van der Boomer into a small private office which included a large desk, two chairs and an oversized couch. The walls were adorned with enlarged photos of trump with foreign leaders and a photo-shopped inauguration picture filled with over a million people on the Mall. Miss Van der Boomer surreptitiously pinched herself and discovered she was not dreaming but indeed was alone with the president of the USA!

trump suggested she sit on the couch, get comfortable and he would explain what he needed from her. At this point, Annabelle, Miss Van der Boomer, began to wonder exactly what business the president had in mind at 10 o’clock at night.

Trump offered to take her coat and asked if she wanted to remove her shoes and have a foot massage…Miss Van der Boomer replied that she was okay and asked what she could do for the president.

trump got up from his position next to Van der Boomer, walked over to his desk to pick up a thin blue presidential folder containing a single sheet of White house stationery.  “I just need you to sign this simple paper and you can leave if you wish, or you could stay and we could, you know, get to know each other better and talk about that ambassadorship”.

A thousand thoughts raced through Annabelle’s mind in the few seconds that it took trump to retrieve the paper and find a pen. One can imagine how Van der Boomer weighed the opportunities versus the pitfalls of her situation - and, there was always the ‘ambassadorship’ to consider.

Her thoughts were interrupted as trump handed her the sheet of paper with these nearly illegible, large scrawled words written with a thick black Sharpie.

“I, Donald trump, the President of the US, being of sound mind-the soundest mind in the world and a healthy body- the healthiest man-body in the USA, grants myself, -Donald John Trump, a Full Pardon for all of the so-called crimes I may have committed or that the Fake FBI says I have committed while being the Greatest President ever.

Those so-called crimes could possibly include the hundreds of millions of dollars the Saudi’s gave me for covering their ass in the Khashoggi thing and the nuclear secrets I handed to Kim in exchange for a possible a safe haven in N Korea – just in case. Also, as far as the any other so-called crimes-too many to mention, I pardon myself”.

Signed January 20, 2021

Donald J Trump

In the end, Miss Van der Boomer read, signed and officially stamped the document and quickly presented her hastily-written bill. Trump waved her off and said that his people would contact her people next week. “What about the ambassadorship”? She asked.

“Oh that”, trump then explained to her the necessary Quid Pro Quo. With just a little trepidation, she finished her part of the Quid, Pro Quo and re-arranged her blouse, trump told Abigail that his people would be contacting her people next week about the ambassadorship.

With all business concluded, Miss Van der Boomer walked out into the freezing night to her car feeling quite pleased that she was to become an ambassador. As she was driving home, thinking about that post on an island in a warm country with palm trees, she suddenly realized that trump was leaving office in a day or two and in a week, he couldn’t appoint her as an ambassador. She felt that she had been taken advantage of and couldn’t get that bad taste out of her mouth.

As for trump, it was just another day of delightful deceit; he slept well with his ‘insurance policy’ safely tucked away.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

“Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing”. - Wm Shakespeare

WikiLeekZ read The United States of America vs Donald J trump so that you don’t have to.

WikiLeekZ writes - do we honestly think that the Mar-a-Lago Classified Documents Case Indictment will make any difference in the end?

Do you remember?

Immigration

Mueller Report

trump university law suit

"President Putin says it's not Russia. I don't see any reason why it would be” trump Helsinki

trump - Zelensky phone call

2 impeachments

“Grab ‘em by the  pussy”- trump LA

Stormy Daniels    Hush money case

Ultra violet light, - Clorox  - Hydroxychloroquine

Covid 19 and thousands of unnecessary deaths

Admin officials in scandal after scandal resigned, fired, quit

Jan 6^th insurrection

Jean Carroll case

Georgia State telephone call -  election tampering

Manhattan District Atty case against Trump Organization for financial fraud

“We’ve seen this all before and in the end, a deal will be made, a pardon given and nothing will become of it. Ho hum – the same old same old    ” – WikiLeekZ