Trump Unable to Find Fiddle

Yesterday, the Jan 6^th Hearings demonstrated that for 187 minutes while the violence of the Insurrection was taking place, trump did nothing to stop it.

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

According to numerous presidential lackeys interviewed by WikiLeekZ in regard to trump’s activities on Jan 6 th, trump raged, shouted and demanded that someone bring him a fiddle to play.

About ten minutes into the fury, a porter found a violin in storage in the White House basement. Trump tried in vain to play the instrument but was unable to find the buttons to push and threw the violin against the ketchup-splattered wall.

So, that’s the reason trump resumed watching the Insurrection/attempted Coup  take place on Fox TV for more than three hours instead of emulating Nero, one of his heroes, who actually was capable of fiddling while Rome burned.                                                    (caution: the Nero story may be historically inaccurate)

Once again, trump takes his place in history alongside other tyrants who, with little or no regard for his subjects or nation, metaphorically “Fiddled while Rome burned”.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

 

300 mass shootings so far in 2022…Adversarial Powers Apprehensive

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

An ironic twist to ‘America the Beautiful Violent’ occurred this week when four unidentified world military powers  announced in a joint statement that after much consideration, they would no longer continue their War Games scenarios consisting of an invasion of the United States. The announcement read, in part…

‘Given the inconceivable violence Americans are perpetrating on their own people, we have come to the ultimate conclusion that it would be pure suicidal folly to invade the USA, a country with so many absurdly bloodthirsty individuals.

In reaching this conclusion, we considered many factors including: the over 300 mass shootings having occurred in the USA so far in 2022; more than 400 million weapons including military-grade arms are cached in private homes within the borders of this so-called peaceful democracy and, if Americans are so adept and willing to murder their fellow citizens, think about the havoc this vicious well-armed militia  would inflict on invading foreign forces!

Our conclusion is that we are better off invading small, helpless nations and leave the United States to self-destruct in an ongoing orgy of atrocious violence against one another.

In a matter of years, infrastructure, skyscrapers, houses, farmland, parks and luxury vehicles will remain relatively untouched whereas the populace will have been reduced itself to a relatively few fortified outposts of ultra-armed individuals who we can destroy in mere seconds with cruise missiles launched from a safe distance.’

That's a good thing, right?

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

trump signs HUGE contract with Hunt’s Ketchup and McDonald’s for TV ad

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

trump’s contract calls for him to throw bottles and packets of Heinz Ketchup and Burger King Whoppers against a star spangled wall while snarling -  ‘get this fucking shit away from me’ and glowering into the camera with his all-too familiar-scowl. 

In the ad, he then orders his servants to clean up the mess made by the burgers and ketchup and go out and buy him some McDonald’s Big Macs and a case of Hunt’s Ketchup.

The closing shot shows him happily pouring a half bottle of Hunt’s Ketchup on his three Big Macs and eagerly munching away while watching the Discovery Channel as a shark devours a dolphin on Shark Week.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

 

 

The Abominable Showman, trump, gets Huge Props from Proud Boys and Oath Keepers

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game 

trump again demonstrated his Herculean machismo by insisting that he march tothe Capitol with his gang of thugs and armed insurrectionists on January 6th.

der Fuhrer demanded that his Secret Service detail drive him to the Capitol by reminding them that “I’m the fucking president” while attempting to strangle one of them. WikiLeekZ asks-

Who hasn’t done that at one time or another?

 Now that’s a real man who fancies himself as the Sun King.

 Our own 21^st C version of the Sun King also showed his love of the heavily armed storm troopers attending his rally by insisting that the armed insurrectionists be allowed to enter the rally area. He was not afraid because he knew that they were his modern day brown and black shirts thirsting for some recognition for their bizarre fealty to the abominable showman.                                                  “They’re not here to hurt me”, he was heard to say.

WikiLeekZ wonders exactly who they were intending to hurt.

Not only that, but his status further increased when it was revealed that he threw his lunch plate against the dining room wall, splattering catsup on the wall and breaking fine White House china in reaction to Barr stating that the election was fair. That wasn’t the first time he threw food against the wall in a fit of pique it was revealed. Who doesn’t do that, or at least has always wanted to?

 All in all, trump was pleased with the outcome of his January 6^th rehearsal for his next coup attempt; and, his elevated status among his dunderhead Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, White Nationalists, Republicans and other anti-Americans was increased immeasurably.  

‘America, what a country’! 

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

 

 

 

 

Justice Clarence Thomas to file for Divorce as Supremes overturn Roe Vs Wade

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Today, Clarence Thomas, in a concurring opinion, wrote that Justices “should reconsider all of this Court’s substantive due process precedents, including (its past rulings codifying rights to contraception access, same-sex relationships and same-sex marriage.)

WikiLeekZ notes that Thomas didn’t include Loving Vs Virginia on his enemies list

Since Loving Vs Virginia (giving the right for interracial marriage) may now be in doubt, Thomas figured that if he were not married to a white woman (Ginni Thomas), he would not have to recuse himself in future votes to overturn Loving Vs Virginia and other Due Process cases on his target list.

Thomas is said, by his clerks to be working assiduously- day and night to overturn Child Labor Laws, Brown Vs Board of Education-ending school segregation, the ruling outlawing cruelty to animals and he hates Daylight Savings Time.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, but May Be Someday

 

 

 

US Supreme Court restores voting rights to property owners and tax payers (only)

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game.

WikiLeekZ has learned that in a ruling expected to be handed down today, the US Supreme Court has declared the One Person One Vote practice to be discriminatory against white male property owners and tax payers. The new ruling (by a 6-3 margin) specifies that all US citizens have the right to vote as long as they are White, Own Property/Pay Taxes and are of the Male Gender.

Citing the 1789 US Constitution which granted the states the power to set voting requirements in which the states generally limited this right to property-owning or tax-paying white males, the US Supreme Court will follow historic precedent by allowing only those White Males who Own Property, voting rights.

The GOP hailed the decision and stated that the Court has restored our great nation to its foundational roots. Republican leadership further stated that they expect that there will be a mild to moderate dissent among Women, the Property-less and People of Color but they are fully prepared to house dissenting hooligans in comfortable re-education facilities until they come to understand the wisdom of the current Supreme Court and its rulings.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

 

WikiLeekZ just in: Huge Vegas ‘Bet On Death’ (BOD) ©  IPO to Launch

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ announces that salivating High Rollers and Whales as well as legions of excited beginners are descending upon Las Vegas in hordes in anticipation of the opportunity of cashing in on future massacres in the US.

A shadowy Crypto-Multi-Billionaire based in Las Vegas and Nigeria will soon launch an IPO called

 ‘Bet on Death’  *(BOD)

Bets must be placed in Las Vegas-offering a boon to the gaming/tourist industry in Nevada!

It will be an international betting platform based offshore. BOD will list possible locations, deaths & injured, type of weapon (s) used for the slaughter, age of shooter(s) and other interesting wagers for the next mass murder in the US. BOD enthusiastically tells WikiLeekZ, in an exclusive interview, that the betting possibilities are virtually endless. (Mass murder for betting purposes, is defined as 6 or more deaths).

BOD goes on to state to WikiLeekZ that there is a huge treasure trove of data points to analyze due to the incredible number of massacres in the US in recent memory…thus enabling BOD’s quants to fix probabilities in precise ways.

In addition, BOD tells WikiLeekZ that extra Bonus points will be awarded to the lucky bettor if the correct venue is guessed. For example you’ve predicted the location, now prophesize the venue; a school, church, a theatre (what movie is showing?), an ice cream parlor, a shopping center or an NBA, MLB or NFL game day venue.

 A Bonus is also awarded for correct answers as to grade level, religious denomination and if there is a correct guess if there is Cinnabon in the food court of a shopping center and what movie is on the theatre screen at the time of the mass killing..

Another Bonus is to guess the age of the shooter.

So, beginning with the location (within 25 miles) and predicting the correct answers plus Bonus answers, all the way to the last question, as much as $75,000,000 could be won by the lucky bettor..

To guard against a bettor putting his finger on the scale, BOD cautions that the bettor must sign an agreement stating that he will be hung in Times Square on NY Eve if he is found guilty of conspiring to choose and act upon the time, place and victims of the massacre. In that case, next of kin to the dead will each receive $10,000 as compensation.

Yes, there is an added progressive Jackpot of $1,000,000 rolling over for each week of massacre inactivity in the US.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

*Yes, since you asked, BOD was chosen for its imagery.

This just in…Proponents of a Massacres Futures Exchange© have applied for a license to operate in Macao to take advantage of the blood-letting spree in America.

It is thought that the Chinese government will act quickly to approve the exchange.  WikiLeekZ is not certain how the exchange will work, but acknowledges its great potential for a quick buck. America is now reaching its potential as a land of opportunity.