WikiLeekZ

Battle of the Drinks

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

On September 27th, the Senate held a hearing to determine the fitness of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to become an Associate Justice on the United States Supreme Court; a momentous time in the history of the United States.

The beverage industry, never missing an opportunity to hawk their products to millions of Americans glued to their TV screens, engaged the 2 protagonists in this history-making event.

The first half of the day was devoted to a Coca Cola commercial. Half way through Blasey Ford’s difficult, heartfelt testimony, Ford reached down and picked up a large bottle of Coke and placed it, not very discreetly, on the table just to her left.

It was impossible not to notice it especially as she occasionally took a sip and put it back to its product placement position...being sure that the bright red letters C O K E were visible to tens of millions of viewers across America.

The Beverage Institute of America reported that 2,765,009 bottles and cans of Coca Cola were consumed during a one hour period while Blasey Ford told of her harrowing experience as a teenager.

Not to be outdone in the drinks battle, Kavanaugh came out swinging in the afternoon session. He angrily excoriated Dems, Left Wingers and others numerous times but still had the presence of mind to mention that he liked, drank and sometimes drank too much B E E R 29 times!

WikiLeekZ thought that at any minute Kavanaugh was going to reach down as Ford did, and hoist up a six pack of his favorite Bruski.

A bottled water company received top product placement on Kavanaugh’s table with at least 3 bottles placed on his right from which he drank copiously.

All in all, WikiLeekZ  awarded  a victory in spoken word commercialization to Kavanaugh and awarded first place in visual product placement to Coca Cola’s Representative, Christine Blasey Ford.

The American Bottled Water Association’s spokesperson, Brett Kavanaugh, won Honorable Mention for his portrayal of a dry-mouthed belligerent man of privilege undergoing a difficult job interview.

After his astonishing, snarling performance, Kavanaugh signed a lucrative contract with the same company that brought the nation BILLY BEER.

It is believed by the Washington DC cognoscenti that there will be a Ford in our future and that Brett’s Belligerent Beer will be a great seller among about 30% of the American population...who will drink it no matter how bad it tastes and without regard to the consequences.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday