Tuesday, October 2, 2018


Supreme Court Readies Unusual Accommodations for Kavanaugh

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Supreme Court Security Services readies padded room with restraints for possible outbursts from potential new Justice Kavanaugh

After witnessing the unprecedented, bellicose outbursts by Judge Kavanaugh last week, Chief Justice Roberts called for an unusual emergency session of the Court. After a 22 second discussion, the Court took action.

On an 7-0 vote with Justice Thomas abstaining, the members of the US Supreme Court requested that Maintenance and Security Services covert a seldom-used broom closet into a padded safe room.
In a rare 7-0 decision, the Court decided that in the event that potential new Justice Kavanaugh goes off on a wild and belligerent rant about how some Clinton-led lawyers, arguing before the Court, are simply on a search and destroy mission to destroy him and his family, a Security detail will be able to escort Kavanaugh to this safe location.

They also allocated funds for an extra contingent of guards, 24/7, to be present in order to protect left-leaning Justices from sudden bursts of self-pity and anger directed at the those Justices by Kavanaugh.

When asked where the funds will come from, the Maintenance chief replied that ‘the security and terrorism budget has funds for such a remodel’. He added that the idea of a safe room for an angry, out-of-control Justice had never arisen in the centuries-old history of the Court. ‘These are indeed strange times’, he commented.

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