The American Tree of Life

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Centuries ago this country began as a newly planted sapling in distant, fertile soil

It took root, prospered and grew...spreading its roots from Virginia and Massachusetts up and down the coast, surviving the storms and the uncertainties of revolution. The tree was nourished by the blood of patriots...some enlightened, some religious and many simple citizens who wanted to experience a freer life.

The American Tree of Life grew and gave sustenance to a growing population as it spread its roots and branches west and while doing so engulfed and overran many living creatures and peoples who had carefully tended the land before their arrival.

And then, in the 1860’s, another catastrophe hit the American Tree of Life. This battle to save our sacred tree nearly sundered the tree in half by laying waste to much of its rapidly growing roots, branches and leaves.

At issue were those who had been brought to tend to the American Tree against their will and were made to support the American Tree of Life without having their own freedom.

The tree survived this calamity, but a major branch was assassinated and many of its leaves of population died and suffered greatly.

The American Tree of Life survived other wars, depressions, assassinations and natural disasters because its citizens nurtured the Tree. The roots were nourished by learning, by sharing, by mutual respect and patriotic love for the country.

Every once in a while, the tree had to be trimmed of its more violent, hate-filled smaller branches and the country’s arborists… in the form of informed voters and ethical leaders, as a rule, took on that task and were successful in helping the now vast and increasingly colorful tree to prosper.

The American Tree did, as other trees have, experienced its cold winters but has always survived those periods to emerge full of life and optimism in the springtime. Its branches grew and soared high in the warm summers, its roots sank deeper into America's soil and showed off its greatness and diversity in the fall.

Throughout its long story, the American Tree of Life has weathered prejudice, hatred, book burning and violence.

The American people tending the Tree with vigilance and understanding have always been able to successfully battle the forces of evil and ignorance in the land and keep these forces at bay.

But something happened in 2016. The head arborist of our American Tree of Life encouraged his followers to poison its democratic roots and hack off its branches of knowledge, kindness and history in order to graft on to the Tree many thorny branches composed of hatred, greed and ignorance.

Yesterday, in a branch of the American Tree…the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh was dealt eleven fatal blows to its vitality by a violent man and this week bombs were sent to prominent American leaders by an ignorant man, devoid of humanity who lived in a van plastered with hate-filled slogans, threats and pictures of his perceived enemies of the country.

Now, our American Tree of Life is facing one of its greatest challenges. What we do collectively on November 6^th will determine if the American Tree of Life begins vigorous new democratic growth or withers and dies.

Zeny

Jamal Khashoggi, Meet Dr. Frankenstein

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

From a secret Saudi source, WikiLeekZ has learned the reason it’s taken weeks for MBS and the Saudi’s to come up with an explanation for the missing Jamal Khashoggi.

Our source told WikiLeekZ that the Saudi’s have been channeling Mary Shelly in an effort to contact Dr. Victor Frankenstein, the creator of the creature in Shelley’s gothic novel, Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus.

According to our highly-placed source, the Saudi prince, Mohammed Bin Salman, who as a child was an avid reader of Shelley’s novel, believes that Dr. Frankenstein holds the secret needed to absolve MBS from international condemnation.

MBS is certain that by being in contact with Dr. Frankenstein, and following his instructions, his forensic surgical team will be able to sew Mr. Khashoggi back together again and replace Khashoggi’s brain with the brain of a member of his security team who has ‘volunteered’.

As far as WikiLeekZ can ascertain, MBS did not read Humpty Dumpty as a child.

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Supreme Court Readies Unusual Accommodations for Kavanaugh

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Supreme Court Security Services readies padded room with restraints for possible outbursts from potential new Justice Kavanaugh

After witnessing the unprecedented, bellicose outbursts by Judge Kavanaugh last week, Chief Justice Roberts called for an unusual emergency session of the Court. After a 22 second discussion, the Court took action.

On an 7-0 vote with Justice Thomas abstaining, the members of the US Supreme Court requested that Maintenance and Security Services covert a seldom-used broom closet into a padded safe room.

In a rare 7-0 decision, the Court decided that in the event that potential new Justice Kavanaugh goes off on a wild and belligerent rant about how some Clinton-led lawyers, arguing before the Court, are simply on a search and destroy mission to destroy him and his family, a Security detail will be able to escort Kavanaugh to this safe location.

They also allocated funds for an extra contingent of guards, 24/7, to be present in order to protect left-leaning Justices from sudden bursts of self-pity and anger directed at the those Justices by Kavanaugh.

When asked where the funds will come from, the Maintenance chief replied that ‘the security and terrorism budget has funds for such a remodel’. He added that the idea of a safe room for an angry, out-of-control Justice had never arisen in the centuries-old history of the Court. ‘These are indeed strange times’, he commented.

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  zenycieslikowski

                                                                              

Battle of the Drinks

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

On September 27th, the Senate held a hearing to determine the fitness of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to become an Associate Justice on the United States Supreme Court; a momentous time in the history of the United States.

The beverage industry, never missing an opportunity to hawk their products to millions of Americans glued to their TV screens, engaged the 2 protagonists in this history-making event.

The first half of the day was devoted to a Coca Cola commercial. Half way through Blasey Ford’s difficult, heartfelt testimony, Ford reached down and picked up a large bottle of Coke and placed it, not very discreetly, on the table just to her left.

It was impossible not to notice it especially as she occasionally took a sip and put it back to its product placement position...being sure that the bright red letters C O K E were visible to tens of millions of viewers across America.

The Beverage Institute of America reported that 2,765,009 bottles and cans of Coca Cola were consumed during a one hour period while Blasey Ford told of her harrowing experience as a teenager.

Not to be outdone in the drinks battle, Kavanaugh came out swinging in the afternoon session. He angrily excoriated Dems, Left Wingers and others numerous times but still had the presence of mind to mention that he liked, drank and sometimes drank too much B E E R 29 times!

WikiLeekZ thought that at any minute Kavanaugh was going to reach down as Ford did, and hoist up a six pack of his favorite Bruski.

A bottled water company received top product placement on Kavanaugh’s table with at least 3 bottles placed on his right from which he drank copiously.

All in all, WikiLeekZ  awarded  a victory in spoken word commercialization to Kavanaugh and awarded first place in visual product placement to Coca Cola’s Representative, Christine Blasey Ford.

The American Bottled Water Association’s spokesperson, Brett Kavanaugh, won Honorable Mention for his portrayal of a dry-mouthed belligerent man of privilege undergoing a difficult job interview.

After his astonishing, snarling performance, Kavanaugh signed a lucrative contract with the same company that brought the nation BILLY BEER.

It is believed by the Washington DC cognoscenti that there will be a Ford in our future and that Brett’s Belligerent Beer will be a great seller among about 30% of the American population...who will drink it no matter how bad it tastes and without regard to the consequences.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

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Kavanaugh Receives His Trump Speech Just in Time

WikiLeekZ has learned that Judge Kavanaugh received his hand-written opening ‘Carnage in America’ screed just minutes before he was slated to enter the Senate Hearing Room. While he was in NYC, Donald Trump shuffled through his favorite speeches of the past 2 years to glean his greatest hits.  He especially relied upon his Inauguration Speech as he wrote Kavanaugh’s belligerent, fulminating opening remarks.

Trump had been very disappointed with Kavanaugh‘s mild, disappointing Fox TV interview and thought that he should be much more aggressive and bellicose in order to rile up the base. Margin notes written by Trump even advised Kavanaugh as to when he should raise his voice to ear-splitting levels, look aggrieved and shed tears.

Among the many talking points Trump included in Kavanaugh’s rant were: Trump’s Clinton-losing-the-election conspiracy theory; the Democratic Plan to derail Kavanaugh’s nomination and the nefarious Left Wing plots against Kavanaugh and Trump.

Judge Kavanaugh yelled, was combative and throughout his long temper tantrum, abrasively shouted that this whole process has been a national disgrace. He was able to channel Trump’s belligerent persona which must have brought huge grins on his puppet master’s beefy visage as he watched in the White House while Kavanaugh delivered his speech.

Lindsay Graham got in his face time with Trump too as he auditioned for the job of Attorney General excoriating the Democrats, the process, Feinstein and anyone else who entered his combative mind.

Toward the end of the hearing, Kavanaugh was passed a note written by Trump…

‘Good job, Brett and don’t worry...Mark Judge is in Federal Witness Protection Program. They’ll never find him to blow the whistle on you’.

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Top Democrats Pray for Early Kavanaugh Victory

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 Early Kavanaugh Victory on Dems Holiday Wish list

WikiLeekZ has found out that high-ranking Democratic leaders are hoping for a speedy Kavanaugh appointment to the Supreme Court. Although this may seem to be a contrarian point of view, this is what WikiLeekZ has learned from highly placed sources.

Already, people in Kavanaugh’s early life are surfacing in the wake of Dr Ford’s upcoming appearance before the Senate; even future presidential nominee, Michael Avenatti, is becoming involved with his new client.

The Dems theory is that shortly after Kavanaugh joins the Supreme Court, there will be so many accusations of drunken, abusive behavior and sexual misconduct on the part of Kavanaugh that impeachment proceedings will have to begin. That will take a considerable amount of time with the eventual outcome being his resignation, his wife leaving him and his dog disowning Master Brett.

The result will be that it will be too late for Trump and his Republican legislative stranglehold to nominate and have confirmed another court justice before the 2020 election. 

  

So, according to sources in high places, a Democratic candidate will win the presidency in 2020 who will then nominate the Supreme Court swing vote, who will be easily confirmed by a newly seated Democratic majority in the Senate.

Hey, it’s possible!

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But may Be Someday

Trump’s NOT So Magic Mushroom

March 4, 2016 Republican Presidential Debate…

"Look at those hands, are they small hands?" the front-runner for the GOP presidential nomination said, raising them for viewers to see. "And, he (Marco Rubio) referred to my hands -- 'if they're small, something else must be small.' I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee."…Donald J Trump

 “He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool and a penis like a character in Mario Kart. Trump’s penis is smaller than average, but not freakishly small. It may have been the least impressive sex I’ve ever had”. –STORMY DANIELS in her book, Full Disclosure

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WikiLeekZ recently interviewed other women associated with President Trump. Their statements follow…

KAREN MC DOUGAL   ‘If you were to ask me, I’d say it’s a bit like a Shitake mushroom. It’s certainly not like the Super Mario I know’!

IVANA TRUMP… ’How the hell should I know! I always kept my eyes closed! Don’t remind me!  But if you’re looking through a mushroom book…glance at Cordyceps Captata’.

MARLA MAPLES TRUMP …’I’m not allowed to speak, write or draw on the subject. I signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement’.  ‘However, I can say that Donald always referred to it as the King Trumpet Mushroom. He said it was named after him’.

MELANIA TRUMP… ’Let’s put it this way. Donald will not be pleased when my book is published’. You may want to Google  Enokitake’

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday