WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Fat Cats rip Page from Democratic Playbook

Because of trump’s ultra-disastrous debate performance, Fat Cat republicans such as Miriam Adelson, Timothy Mellon, Charles Koch and others are plotting to ease trump from the Presidential race.

They, and other Republican Big Wigs, learning from the recent Democratic change in candidates, know they need other players to win the presidency and save trumpian values; trump is too old, too tired, presents nothing new and doesn’t laugh.

Instead they ‘re considering Elon Musk and Linda McMahon, two top trump donors, to lead the 2025 Project team to victory.

They’re currently looking for ‘their George Clooney’ to break the news to trump and have secured a multi-billion dollar fund to sweeten to deal for trump. Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson are on the ‘Clooney’ list…but they’re both holding out for a spot on the ticket.

Fox, Breitbart, One America and all other nut-job media are on board.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

Cat omania strikes trump/Vance camp.

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Yesterday, Catholic JD Vance cataloged Cataclysmic events in Springfield telling rally goers categorically that residents’ Cats and dogs were kidnapped and eaten – served with catsup and caterpillars by Hattian immigrants.

In the debate last night trump amplified that falsehood by claiming that he would serve a catered dinner of cats accompanied with catfish on a bed of fried cattails based on an ancient Catalan recipe.

Harris responded by calling trump catatonic - suggesting that these falsehoods were like catnip to a caterwauling  trump and suggested that he go chill in a catacomb on Catalina Island…and beware of the lurking Catamounts!

This debate brought to you by ABCathartic- a Catalyst for Newz

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

 

A WikiTorial

August 5, 2024  noon  

                                                  America the Great!

I was sitting at the computer writing something about Italian cafes when Cindy told me that four kids were killed in Georgia. I simply asked where…”at school” she answered. And I continued writing about a cafe in Rome.

I sat and wrote a minute longer and then realized that I didn’t stop immediately and watch TV as I used to 5-10- years ago when I heard such horrific news: and tried to comprehend how something  like that could have happened and who, for heaven’s sake could kill four young kids.

I didn’t even ask who did it; I assumed, without really thinking about it that it was a rather young white guy who was very troubled and angry and he probably shot himself.

I chose to turn off the TV and write this so that I could express myself at this moment without knowing anything except that four precious lives were lost and many families and friends would suffer for years knowing that a family member or a friend has been lost to them forever.

I don’t have any illusions that anything will change except for those who knew the four kids. No laws will be passed. Politicians will do what they always do while cashing the gun lobby checks and ill-informed people will say that it’s not the gun, but the criminal who is to blame.

The press will cover the story for 24 hours and then return to the horse race, poll- watching election story and outwardly pious people will put on their suffering countenances at a religious ceremony or two then return to shouting time-honored slogans about freedom and some arcane interpretation of the Constitution. Heaps of praise will go out to first responders and hospital staff. Candlelight vigils will be held, lawsuits begun and pious statements will be read by the press staff of those who will not support some sensible gun control.

I will say a silent prayer to all of those suffering and vote accordingly.

Then, we will all return to our unscathed lives and our safe families and friends.

America the Great!

I'm exhausted in writing about this disease.

Zeny

Sadly, it is the NEWZ today in America and Perhaps Forever

 

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

“Stand Back and Stand By, America”

Today, trump reposted the following:

“She spent her whole damn life down on her knees”,                                                                                 An oblique reference and photo of Brown - to Harris’s former relationship with Willie Brown

“Funny how blowjobs impacted both of their careers”                                                                                 re-posted with photo of Hilliary Clinton and Kamala Harris

Called for Barack Obama to face a military tribunal                                                                                   re-posted from QAnon

Republicans sense a turnaround in trump’s  polling decline and cheer trump’s clever use of the English language.

Republicans all across the USA rejoiced today as ‘trump being trump’ re-posted three social media posts that made approximately 40% of Americans deliriously happy-you might say - even ecstatically happy today.

When trump was asked by reporters later today to respond to the media outcry regarding the re-posts he angrily exclaimed “Yes, I was happy to re-post those beautiful words but I’m very pissed off that somebody stole the exact words I was going to post later today. Those are my offensive words”.

I’m going to sue that SOB. Nobody steals trump’s vulgar, uncouth, rude, hurtful, loutish words and gets away with it!  I’m the king of boorish behavior and that kingship will make me president. And when I’m president, I’ll show the country and the world how much of a selfish, self-centered, egotistical, offensive pretty boy I really am”!

“ Just wait” bellowed trump;  “Stand Back and Stand By, America”

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

Wikiamericanewz is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

To placate Melania, trump to award her the Presidential Medal of Freedom in *advance.

Yesterday, at his Bedminster Golf Club, he reminded the audience that he had presented, Miriam Adelson, who was in attendance, the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2018.

Incidentally, **Mrs Adelson has pledged to do whatever it takes to help trump win with $100 million PAC!

“That’s the highest award you can get as a civilian. It’s the equivalent of the congressional Medal of Honor, but a civilian version,” Trump told attendees.

“It’s actually much better, because everyone who gets the congressional Medal of Honor, that’s soldiers, they’re either in very bad shape because they’ve been hit so many times by bullets, or they’re dead. She gets it, and she’s a healthy, beautiful woman,” Trump said with a chuckle, eliciting applause from the crowd. “And they’re rated equal.”

‘And speaking of beauty’ he continued, ‘today I award ***Melania the Presidential Medal of Freedom in advance as the most intelligent and most beautiful woman in America’.

*In case trump loses

**CNBC August 16, 2024  3:58pm

*** Melania has threatened to sue trump for $100 Million and leave before the election- WikiLeekZ

Wikiamericanewz is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

 

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Project 2025 and trump Plan to return All Immigrants and their Offspring to Their Countries of Origin

 

Trump speaks at his clubs and on the stumps:  

repeating ad Nauseum that Immigrants are Bad for the USA-

From the time trump rode down the escalator with Melania in NYC until yesterday, without Melania, trump has almost daily excoriated immigrants who have crossed our borders.

“They’re animals" and "not human"-djt

By the way-      Melania is an immigrant

 “They Bring infectious diseases with them”-djt

“They’re Criminals, rapists, child molesters, thieves & drug dealers”-djt

Remember -         Trump’s  grandfather was an immigrant

“They take jobs from Blacks and Latinos” -djt

Don’t forget that -           trump’s  mother was an immigrant

‘ And, states, the  donald,  ‘some people’, in fact, ‘many people’ say that immigrant restaurant workers, farm workers and construction workers are shiftless, lazy and take siestas’

‘And that’s not all. Everyone knows the real crimes, perpetrated by immigrants--- -which are escalating are Parking scofflaws, jay walkers, turnstile jumpers, door step newspaper thieves’

Also -       jd Vance’s wife’s parents are both immigrants

 

trump faces a dilemma ….Except for Native Americans, our entire country is full of immigrants and their progeny                   Someone needs to whisper into trump’s good ear

 

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 Wikiamericanewz is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

 Trump to make MINOR tweaks to his campaign

 wikiamericanewz has learned that Donald trump plans to make minor tweaks to his campaign after watching the fantastic Harris/Walz rally in Philly.

From trump campaign headquarters in Mar-a-Lago:

Trump fires JD Vance and orders immediate search for new VP running mate

trump enrolls in Comedy School and signs up for charm and empathy classes at trump University

trump orders staff member to buy 2 large, trained Orange Tabby cats to appear on the podium with him at rallies

Files suit with Supreme Court for an election campaign Mulligan and to declare Tim Walz ineligible as VP candidate

Sends out press release stating that he coached winning Super Bowl team in 1957

Offers Harris/Walz speech writers substantial lifetime contracts

Assigns Ivanka and Eric to new campaign sign duties beginning with                                 ‘What me? Weird?’, ‘Mind Your Own Damn Business!’ and                                                                ‘I’m Not Creepy, I just Act That Way’

wikiamericanewz is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

trump to relieve Americans of onerous civic duty… but scares the crap out of most patriotic people!

“You won’t have to vote anymore,” - trumpWikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

trump to relieve Americans of onerous civic duty… but scares the crap out of most patriotic people!

“You won’t have to vote anymore,” - trump

Just when WikiLeekZ thought that trump had exhausted his boxcar-filled dangerous, stupid, authoritarian, fascists-like thoughts and statements…this was uttered by trump yesterday.

Trump told Christians on Friday to vote “just this time”. “You have to get out and vote”.

“You won’t have to do it anymore — four more years, you know what? It’ll be fixed, it’ll be fine. You won’t have to vote anymore,” the former president told the crowd at the Believers Summit, a faith-focused event in Florida. –HuffPost  By Ben Blanchet Jul 27, 2024, 02:14 AM EDT & CNN, NYT, The Guardian, etc

And, now, to celebrate his most recent fascist uttering, he has two new wines he just launched in coordination with his latest dictatorial statement… Utter Bastard and Fat Bastard

This absolutely 1000% true, accurate and correct statement by trump is brought to you by –

wikiamericanewz - the remainder is satirical

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

 

 

Leading Democrats back Kamala Harris as donations surge following Biden’s withdrawal from race” –the Guardian

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game  

A Requiem for a Hillbilly Hack…

WikiLeekZ has learned that since Biden has dropped out of the race, both trump and Vance have spent the last few hours thinking about their miserable futures. When trump and Vance got word that Biden would not be the Democratic nominee and Harris was the most likely replacement, they both wet their britches and began thinking of an exit strategy for themselves.

“Our asses are grass” they both agreed. “That mf……g prosecutor will skin us alive”!

With an almost certain November election loss, trump is considering flying to his pal in Russia as soon as possible so as to avoid an almost certain prison sentence because of all four of his court cases.

 “Did you hear what that prosecutor Kamala did to those drug dealers in California”     trump asked Melania?... as she was disinterestedly painting her nails during one of her monthly visits to Mar-A-Lago. Trump thought he detected an almost imperceptible Mona Lisa-like smile on her face; caused he surmised, by her glee. Trump was correct because Melania figured that either way, Russia or prison, she and Barron were free… “I thank my god, I really don’t care, do u”? she thought.

Vance had a somewhat different reaction because he knew that both he and trump would be  losers…of not only the election but it would end his short political career.

He had just gotten off the phone with Peter Theil, the billionaire who funded his Ohio senate election campaign, who said- “you’re a loser, JD, and I only back crazy, right wing winners. Don’t call me, and by the way, you owe me $567,390 .07 from the Ohio race you promised you’d pay if you didn’t become VP”.

So, there they both sat, in lonely isolation, unable to reach any of those bandage-wearing front-runner delegates and supporters who so lustily cheered them only a few days before.

“I guess I can take off that damn ear cover now” said trump flatly… to no one in particular… all of his toadies and ass-kissers had fled Mar-a-Lago … looking for another mother f…....ker they could count on winning.

For his part, Vance decided he would write a book about his recent short-lived political experiences. He would title it…

“A Requiem for a Hillbilly Hack”

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be One Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Death by 1000 Cuts … Crime Wave Imminent

Joe Biden has been dying by a thousand cuts this week and in order to staunch the bleeding, he has come up with an interesting scheme.

Biden had spent Thursday night watching the republican National Convention shout and roar their approval at successive loud, coarse and deceitful speakers when a lightbulb flashed above his head.

The next morning he confided his plan to his four closest aids, who were skeptical at first, but eventually came around to his way of thinking.

“Here’s the deal”, he said:

“I’ve decided that I would embark upon a one-man crime wave”

 “you know, rob a couple of blind beggars”, spray graffiti – ‘trump sucks… Diet Coke’ and jump over NYC subway turnstiles”. He continued “of this is a strategy to win over some manly MAGA voters and unenthusiastic Dems”.

Biden argued to his trusted confidants that such a daring, macho persona would quiet the spineless Democratic money people, garner loads of publicity and, ”by the way” bring in a huge  donations. A trial would be the cherry on the cake.  He argued his strategy …somewhat convincingly to his four closest confidants…Jill, Hunter and their two German Shepherds, Champ and Major.

Jill had a few questions before signing off on the scheme:

Would the Secret Service be the get-away drivers?  Would he wear one of those Halloween Joe Biden masks?  Would he donate the stolen money to a charity?  If so which one?

There was a spirited argument among themselves for three different charities; the Humane Society won - with two votes. High Paws all around.

It was agreed that Hunter would be the get-away driver (despite having his driver’s license revoked), Jill would identify the two blind beggars and Champ and Major would create diversions for the crimes.

“If all goes well”  - whispered Biden,

“our gang will be identified before the Democratic convention in time for all of us to have  choice speaking slots”.

“Hey, it worked for them”, remarked Biden -  that was the clincher

Jill asked Joe…”Do you have a Plan B”?

“Yes, I do…Oprah Winfrey on the ticket” he enthusiastically answered

 

The New York Times headline two days after their caper …

Biden shoots up 12% in new poll!...New York Times/Siena Poll

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Trump meets with Manafort, Navarro Bannon and Weisselberg at RNC

WikiLeekZ has just discovered that trump had a secret closed-door meeting at the Republican National Convention with former aids Paul Manafort and Peter Navarro to discuss what he might expect if he goes to prison. Allan Weisselberg and Steve Bannon, who are currently serving prison terms, could not attend in person, but joined in via Zoom.

trump had very specific, vital questions which he posed to the four jailbirds:

Do prisons have mirrors, combs and ‘Helmet spray’?     Will I be able to get my 6+ Diet Cokes per day?     Will there be a golden toilet for me to use?      How many days a week can I play golf at one of my golf clubs?       Are Big Macs, fries and shakes on the prison menu? Is Fox News on 24/7 in my cell?

What trump heard sent him into a deep funk and he asked- “well, how do these suckers and losers make it through their prison sentences”?

There was silence because no one had the heart to tell trump about the ‘being on your knees and the bending over’ solution.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

trump speaks causing God’s Feelings to be Hurt

“It was god alone who prevented the unthinkinable (sic) from happening”- trump to Jackson

 

“That chart that I was going over saved my life,” –trump in a telephone call to former White House physician, Ronny Jackson

“He goes”,-R Jackson, 

“The border patrol saved my life,’” Dr. Jackson recounted in an interview on Sunday. “I was going over that border patrol chart.”

 “He said”, - Jackson

 “If I hadn’t pointed at that chart and turned my head to look at it, that bullet would have hit me right in the head.”

“The Border Patrol saved me” - trump

After hearing trump at first give Her credit for saving him, God was pleased, but when She heard the rest of trump’s story Her feelings were hurt.

Trump’s confusing statements led the Secret Service to question trump about his Savior.

In another development, trump launched his own inquiry into the Miracle at Butler©, citing his complete mistrust of the Deep State FBI and USSS. He chose Jared Kushner and Rudolph Giuliani to head up the investigation, stating “they’re the best in the country”.

If WikiLeekZ has unintentionally offended anyone, WikiLeekZ apologizes                                                                                                     NO IT DOESN’T…IT’S SATIRE!

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, 

 

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

The Greatest Country   #1

Hip, Hip Hooray!                                                                                                          USA#1  USA!     USA#1     USA!     USA#1    USA!   

#1    in                                                                                                    ASSASSINATIONS and  ASSASSINATION ATTEMPTS                                                     Of Political Leaders

President Jackson, President Lincoln, President James Garfield, President McKinley, President Theodore Roosevelt, President Franklin Roosevelt, President Truman, President Kennedy, Gov Geo Wallace, Martin Luther King, Jr, Malcolm X, Robert Kennedy, President Ford, President Reagan, President Trump                                                       

(partial listing)

 

Sponsored by: Smith/Wesson, Colt, Remington                                                                            National Rifle Association & US Officials Against Sane Gun Control

 

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

trump hopes Biden will follow Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s example

“Stay in the race, Joe…please” –Donald J trump

Donald trump is betting his life - away from a prison cell, that President Biden will follow RBG’s example and stay in the 2024 race for president.

WikileekZ has discovered a hand-written note from trump congratulating Biden on his “Huge debate performance and win” …writing, “nobody would believe such an exciting, aggressive sparring partner I had last Thursday”, and further stating that “only Biden would make a worthy campaign opponent”.

“Stay in the race, Joe…please”; then added, “Remember the great Justice Ginsburg”.

RBG, as many WikiLeekZ readers will recall, selfishly chose to remain as a Supreme Court Justice despite her age, health issues and frailty, thus denying Obama an opportunity to nominate a healthy, younger replacement during his second term.

WikiLeekZ has learned of Biden’s plan to outfox trump.

At a family meeting this weekend at Camp David, the family decided that Biden would stay in the race, but has an ‘October Surprise’ in mind.

Biden will offer trump an unconditional pardon for all crimes IF he were to drop out of the race on October 31, 2024 a few days before Election Day.  

So, the ‘raison d’etre’ of trump running for president in order to assure his freedom is assuredly taken care of.  Q.E.D., ipso facto, -Biden wins the presidency and trump is free to stalk the world for personal gain, glory and lie.  

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ first to declare the winner of the Biden-trump 'debate'.

And the Winner is!

                                                           PHOTO:  Zeny Cieslikowski  CA Democratic Convention in SF

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

 

Has trump Ever Petted a Dog?

 

WikiLeekZ asks: Is trump a good role model?:

 

Has he EVER apologized for ANY thing he said or did?

Has trump EVER said- I’m sorry - for ANY THING?

Has he EVER petted a dog?  ANY DOG?

Has anyone EVER heard trump utter the words  I love you to ANYONE?

Has trump EVER told a joke-not directed at Someone else’s expense?

Has he EVER strung three rational/logical sentences together at ANY one time?

Has he EVER shown empathy for victims of natural or personal disasters?

Has trump EVER taken responsibility for a wrong decision he made at ANY time?

 

WikiLeekZ wonders: How many boxes have you checked?

 

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

WikiLeekZ.blogspot.com

 

 What Do trump and Plato Have in Common?

wikiamericanewz  paraphrases  Plato…

In 375 BC, in his Fourth volume of the Republic, Plato wrote a powerful allegory to argue for the importance and value of choosing leaders with judgement and expertise for political office in a society.

In his Ship of Fools Plato outlines the danger of political ideologies and how they can divide people. In Plato’s allegory, the ship is equal to the governing system and on the ship is the captain representing the people.

Captain trump's suggestion to Sammy boy

Wikiamericanewz suggests that in his allegory, the commander – trump, is totally unfit to captain the USS United States and will bring along his entirely unfit crew of toadies, criminals and sycophants in an effort to consolidate power and destroy democracy in America and the world.

To accomplish this, Captain Don will enlist the help of fat cat oligarchs and pirates such as Fox and Breitbart News, NewsMax and The National Inquirer, Putin, Orban, MBS and other such authoritarian leaders as well as right-wing, inattentive and greedy social media platforms.

His brigands all across the country will work to deny the vote, terrorize election officials and use pirate officials to alter, change and protest ballots and outcomes. His pirate ship
, the Ship of Fools, will continually use its canons to lob lies and distortions onto the American political landscape in an effort to alter it forever.

It’s entirely up to the citizens of the US to determine the course of America and decide whether or not Captain Don Walks the Plank

Wikiamericanewz is NOT the NEWZ But is true Satire

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Chapter Twelve: THE trump CRIMINAL FAMILY  staring  Peter Kent Navarro

Winner of the wikiamericanewz ‘Doofus of the Year Award’ 

Dateline: wikiamericanewz

In His Own Words…

This week, Breitbart interviewed the former Trump economic advisor, Peter Navarro; Navarro is one of many criminals in the ex-president’s orbit. He was interviewed in the Miami prison where he is serving four months for contempt of Congress.

While life behind bars is difficult, Navarro boasted that “his stint has been smoothed by his ties to Donald Trump, which make him something of a “made man”.

“The former president”, said Navarro, ”is  beloved not just by the guards, but by the “vast majority” of inmates as well.  If I were a ‘Bidenite’, things would be a lot tougher here — and yes, they know exactly who I am and respect the fact that I stood up for a principle and didn’t bow to the government,” Navarro said.

Biography: Peter Kent Navarro

Tufts   BA    Harvard University  MPA  PhD

Director of the Office of Trade and Manufacturing    trump Administration

Professor Emeritus of Economics and Public Policy  UC, Irvine

Criminal Status:  In prison

Wikiamericanewz asks Americans…what friend of a former president who is campaigning for another term as President thinks that saying that trump is beloved by prison guards and criminals alike? Is that statement spoken to instill confidence and trust in a candidate for President of the US?

Or, does Navarro recognize the mindset of trump supporters and expects that this portrayal will spur trump to a victory?

 

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Bowing and Scraping for Number Two

WikiAmericaNEWZ  is seeing that many leading GOP trumpers, in an effort of self-promotion and abasement are sporting white shirts, dark suits and red ties and calling themselves ‘trump’s White Shirts’ - modeled after Hitler’s ‘Brown Shirts’ and Mussolini’s ‘Black Shirts’.

Instead of sticking to their knitting in Washington DC and working on needed domestic legislation they’re filling their coffers from deep-pocketed lobbyists and working on their next election. And, they’ve spent time traveling to NYC wearing white shirts and red ties - aping their Dear Leader hoping to have a chance to lick his boots …or they’re flying to Mar-a-Lago to kiss the ring of the Anointed One.

Many are even jetting down to the US-Mexican border in search of a photo op that the Convicted One might see of them on TV - preferably in front of a partial fence lined with many ‘bad hombres’; as if to say - ‘here I am, your vice presidential stooge or Cabinet Secretary yahoo in waiting’. ¡Jesucristo! Have they no shame?

And now, following Sammy boy Alito’s lead, many are ordering from Amazon and flying Old Glory upside down alongside that green tree flag alluding to heaven.  Have they no shame?                                 

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday