Trumps Cave on State of Union Speech

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikileekZ has discovered that in secret negotiations between Don Trump, Jr and Nancy Pelosi, the Trump family’s Art of the Squeal was fully realized.

Trump, Sr instructed Don, Jr that he wanted the following people to attend the Address…Border Patrol Agents, Firefighters, Policemen, Servicemen, Melania, Ivanka and Judge Pirro.

Trump, Sr also had these demands:

Be allowed to give SOU Address in the House of Representatives

All TV networks to cover address…TV feed to be telecast globally                                                                                 

Queen’s ‘We Will Rock You’ anthem to be played upon Trump’s entrance

Ms. Pelosi acquiesced on just one point…she invited Trump to present his address in exchange for the following all of which Don, Jr agreed to:

Gallery invitees to include: Stormy Daniels, Michael Avenatti, Undocumented workers from Trump hotels and golf clubs, Robert Mueller and Michael Cohen.

None of Trump’s guests to be admitted

C-Span only to televise event

Real-time expert staff of lie-detector experts on site who will raise objection to Trump’s lies in 3 levels of prevarications…triggering these responses

1^st- Blinking red light and buzzer

2^nd- Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire blinking sign behind trump activated

3^rd- Trap door under Trump opens and drops Trump…address terminated and song-‘Turn Out the Lights, the Party’s Over ‘  played on loop as Legislators, Joint Chiefs and Supreme Court file out of House.

Sorry, no Queen anthem.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Coffee Boy Howard Schultz gets Big Time Endorsements

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has learned this morning that Howard Schultz will be making a big…some say, huge announcement later this morning. He will state that he has received important, news-breaking endorsements for his race for the presidency.

Schultz will make his declaration to a world-wide audience including special big screen TV’s set up in the almost 30,000 Starbucks locations world-wide.

Howard Schultz will inform the world that Donald J Trump, Vladimir Putin, Mohammed bin Salman, Ross Perot, Jill Stein, Ron Johnson and Ralph Nader will all declare that, for various reasons, that they will back the candidacy of Howard Schultz…at some time in the future, maybe.

They all have signed statements proclaiming that what this nation really needs now is another narcissistic, self-important billionaire candidate with absolutely no governing experience who is in the race to feed his vanity and most likely assure that another arrogant, so-called billionaire is re-elected president of the US.

Schultz will then become a member of an even smaller club than the US Presidents Club which numbers 45. He will join Perot, Nader and Jill Stein as one of the very few un-elected candidates in US history to change the fate of the nation and humanity simply to feed his vainglorious desire to be more than just a ‘Coffee Boy’.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has uncovered Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer’s Democratic Party not so secret list of National Emergencies that actually need to be addressed. The Wall is not on the list.

If Trump succeeds in enacting a ‘National Emergency’ for his Wall, Pelosi and Schumer believe that this will give a 2020 newly elected Democratic president the green light to address real National Emergencies in this way...if necessary.

Democratic National Emergency Projects for 2021

Climate change

Cannabis medical research

Gun control

Healthcare

Immigration reform 

Stop Russian attacks of US elections

Voting rights reform 

Rebuild Puerto Rico

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ…But May Be Someday

TV Network$ Ca$h in on Trump’$ Prime Time Fundrai$er  La$t Night

WikiLeekZ is our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has discovered that the reason the national TV networks granted Trump access to nationwide TV coverage is that Trump gave 15% of his fundraising profits to them.

Prior his appearance and after the telecast, Trump’s well-oiled campaign machine sent out millions of e-mails to supporters pleading for money for a ‘Border Fund’.

It’s unclear how much money the networks will pocket from this slick maneuver, but spokespersons related that if it is as successful as they believe it will be, ‘we can look forward to more Trump Con programming’.

When asked to describe Trump’s speech, she simply read from a prepared script…lies, boring, old news, blah, blah, blah, more lies, quarter truths, boring, low energy, teleprompter, lies, misrepresentations, blah, blah, blah…etc.

When another reporter asked about the Democratic response, the spokesperson merely said…’It looked like Grant Wood’s painting, American Gothic with flags instead of a barn and pitchfork’.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday