Trump announces Potential Legal Dream Team

“Many lawyers and top law firms want to represent me in the Russia case...don’t believe the Fake News narrative that it is hard to find a lawyer who wants to take this on. Fame & fortune will NEVER be turned down by a lawyer, though some are conflicted”. -Donald J Trump

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

In the wake of the abrupt dismissal of potential Trump lawyers... Joe di Genova, Fox News legal commentator, and his wife Victoria Toensing, the White House has issued the following statement…

…To prove that the President is considering only top people in the legal profession, the White House Communications Director, at the request of the President, has released a list of lawyers along with their credentials whom Trump is seeking to represent him in the Russia matter.

Trump stated that he has seen all of these very fine individuals in action, some of them many times in re-runs, and that he has 100% confidence that they will act in the appropriate way. Trump further stated that many are award-winning.

Trump added…I am confident that when all is said and done, I will have assembled one of the most unique legal teams in history.

Attorneys                            Credentials

Tom Cruise                        A Few Good Men

Gregory Peck                     To Kill a Mockingbird

Reese Witherspoon            Legally Blonde

Paul Newman                    The Verdict

Joe Pesci                                 My Cousin Vinny 

Raymond Burr                        Perry Mason

Andy Griffith                           Matlock

Tom Hanks                              Philadelphia

Bob Odenkirk                   (Saul Goodman)      Better Call Saul

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

March Madness Comes in like a Storm from the White House

WikiLeekZ suggests that we forget the traditional Basketball March Madness and look to the White House for the Real March Madness.

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

In an effort to make Americans forget about former Apprentice star, Summer Zervos, who is suing Trump for sexual harassment, Stormy Daniels, who is scheduled to be on 60 Minutes this Sunday and Karen McDougal, who just finished an enlightening interview on CNN, President Trump has been storm-tweeting a whole host of astonishing, controversial firings, appointments and announcements.

It’s as if these 3 ladies are guiding the Ship of State in the form of Trump’s machinations. Trump has been pulling out every play in his playbook to distract Americans from paying attention to 3 women with whom Trump has been involved…at least 2 of whom while married to his present wife, Melania.

 

The scope of changes and pronouncements has been overwhelming and ultimately, far-reaching for American trade policy, the economy and foreign and military strategy…and all because of 3 women in his past.

Who would have thought that an adult film actress and Playboy model could wield such power as to have the Secretary of State and National Security Advisor fired?

Or, that tariffs on steel and aluminum and a face-to-face meeting with North Korea would have been brought about because of sordid trysts by a pre-presidential Donald Trump? What could these women have on him that has made him change the course of American and world history?

   

And, WikiLeekZ asks, what might he yet do in the very near future to further divert attention from these earlier dalliances?

1)      Fire Mueller and replace him with Alan Dershowitz?

2)      Pardon everyone indicted by Mueller plus all others for any future indictments

3)      Give Israel & Saudi Arabia the go ahead to engage in surgical bombing of Iran

4)      Arrest all 20 of his women accusers and their attorneys for Un-American Activities

Stay tuned to see what Trump will conjure up next.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday.

TRUMP KICKED OUT OF WHITE HOUSE

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has learned from a White House domestic staffer that Trump was kicked out of the White House by Melania late last night during a loud shouting match between the President and First Lady. The First Lady was heard to yell many words in the Slovenia language, but occasional English words such as Stormy, sharks, Cohen, sluts, porn stars and divorce were distinctly heard as well.

The on-duty Secret Service agents were so intimidated by the raging First Lady that they were afraid to interfere and had to call for backup.

By the time back up arrived, the front lawn of the White House was strewn with dozens of Trump’s favorite possessions. His golf clubs, wedding albums, red ties and MAGA hats, cartons of hair care products, stacks of unsold Art of the Deal books and many large screen TV’s were scattered about.

There was even a harpooned large plastic shark with a brass plate inscribed...See what I did for you. No more worries. Stormy.

The President, cowed by Melania, was seen dejectedly walking down Pennsylvania Avenue in pj’s, slippers and robe heading for his hotel, hoping they weren’t overbooked. While walking, he called Don, Jr, Eric and Ivanka and asked them if they could sneak in and retrieve a suit, red tie and shirt along with some of his most prized possessions, including his boyhood snow sled.

As he was walking away, he could hear Melania shouting at him that she was filing for divorce, had a divorce lawyer, a book agent and  multi-million dollar deals with a book publisher and a contract with a movie producer. She didn’t need his money because her first book....Tiny Hands, Tiny PENIS would soon be in print. And, she added, she was changing the locks on the White House doors!

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Trump Tasks National Academy of Sciences To Make America Great Again

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game

President Trump, despite his unwavering belief in the false premises of science, will soon decree the following Executive Order...

At the suggestion of Jared, Executive Order #666 will direct all of the nations’ scientific resources to make 1000 clones of President Trump, Vintage 2017. ‘The 1000 Clones Project’...Bring on the Clones!

Trump’s Chinese-based clothing companies will be making 1000 of Trump’s dark blue suits and long red ties, all to fit perfectly on the 1000 Donald J Trump clones.

The Trump clones, each 70 years old, will be dispersed all across this great land of ours in an innovative effort to Make America Great Again...as Trump sees fit.

Scientists at the National Cloning Institute have come up with a devious new slogan...’Hello Donald, meet Dolly...The Fleecing of America’.

The scientists have devised a way to make sure that when the 1000 replica beings emerge from the 1000 Petrie Dishes, their first sounds will be baaaa, baaaa and 1000 Dolly’s will materialize… wearing long red ties and ill-fitting dark blue suits.

Making America Great Again...Through Science

When Trump heard of this SNAFU, he was heard to mumble...Who knew Science was so Complicated?

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday