trump Thanks the Corona virus as 'His Best Ratings Friend'                                                                trump Campaign Looks for New Disasters

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Last night, in a series of tweets, trump triumphantly trumpeted the boffo ratings of his daily Corona virus Press Conferences. 2 of those tweets are printed below.

                                                                                                                                                                    Because the “Ratings” of my News Conferences etc. are so high, “Bachelor finale, Monday Night Football type numbers”     according to the @nytimes,     the Lamestream Media is going CRAZY. “Trump is reaching too many people, we must stop him.” said one lunatic. See you at 5:00 P.M.!

Donald J. Trump

✔ @realDonaldTrump

 “President Trump is a ratings hit. Since reviving the daily White House briefing Mr. Trump and his coronavirus updates have attracted an average audience of 8.5 million on cable news, roughly the viewership of the season finale of ‘The Bachelor.’ Numbers are continuing to rise...

WikiLeekZ has discovered that Trump’s re-election team is quietly scrambling around for a replacement of the Corona virus-themed so-called News Conference for when the virus has inevitably run its course. They’re looking into every and all possibilities although no one on the team expects the replacement disaster to have the same over the top ratings that the combination of trump and Corona virus have generated.

Famine, Pestilence, War, Death, McDonald’s closing, Alien Invasion, Mass Suicide, His Helmet Hair Company Bankruptcy, Tsunamis, Earthquakes and Plagues of Locusts are all under consideration as possible new disaster-themed Press Conference themes.

Astonishingly, trump’s poll numbers have risen slightly since he began substituting his ‘News Conferences’ for the mass devotee rallies of this election season.

No one in trump’s camp (almost no one, well, maybe a few) wishes for a huge spike in plague deaths of Americans (especially if they are trump voters). However, according to his re-election team, a continuing ‘acceptable’ number of mostly democratic voters…not a lot mind you, just enough to keep headlines buzzing until November would be the perfect scenario to keep trump in office for 4 more years.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

trump Strikes Out Again

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Just when WikiLeekZ thought we had heard it all…Trump called Alex Rodriquez recently to ask his opinion about the Corona virus.

Trump must believe that New Yorkers can feel much safer now that trump has finally consulted with a New York hero who will go to bat for him and the city. But, in this game, trump strikes out and the Corona virus hits a home run. With trump consulting ARod- trump believes this whole ball game against the plague is going to be a walk in the (ball) park”.

But, time and time again, Umpire Tony Fauci, a NY native himself, repeatedly states that the trump’s mostly rookie team in the White House continues to make rookie error after error. Appeals to Fauci to grant trump 4 strikes and 4 outs went unheeded.

WikiLeekZ reports that trump made an unforced error when he called ARod and JLo to talk about the Corona virus and in the same call, he asked ARod to join his drug policy effort. WikiLeekZ asks “who knows more about drugs and less about Corona virus than ARod”?

WikiLeekZ heard that trump wanted to add all stars such as Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig and Yogi Berra to the White House Corona virus team - until he was informed by a staff member that these gentlemen were currently on the disabled list and unavailable to join the team at this time.

So, going into the bottom of the 3^rd inning, trump so far, has no hits, no runs and many errors as trump strikes out again against Corona virus.

WikiLeekZ is Not the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

“All’s Well That Ends Well"


WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

After all of the nonsense coming from the minds and mouths of some people in high offices across the land, WikiLeekZ has finally found a truth-teller, a person who speaks both (un)intelligently and from his black heart…but sincerely.

Republican Texas Lt Governor, Dan Patrick, believes he has the answer to both the Corona virus and the faltering US economy. His proposal is delineated in the words he spoke in an interview with Fox News’s Tucker Carlson.

Patrick said “lots of grandparents out there are willing to take a chance against the COVID-19 coronavirus in order to save the economy”.

Patrick agreed with President Donald Trump’s proposal for a quicker end to the shutdowns that have stalled the economy. 

Bravely, Patrick stated that he’s willing to put his own survival on the line in exchange for “keeping the America that all America loves” for future generations. 

Unfortunately, the Lt Governor hasn’t yet explained how this would work. 

Ostensibly, everyone would go back to work, no more social distancing (which sounds very much like socialism anyway). Most people would contract the virus, 80% of seniors would perish-no need for taking up good hospital space for grandma, while most younger citizens would survive and the economy would come roaring back.

The really interesting thing about this plan is that the virus would mutate the following year and attack Americans from 35-70 years old at which time they would be sacrificed on the altar of capitalism while youngsters and seniors would mostly get a free pass.

The next year…and so on in America.

In the meantime, the rest of the world, having heeded science and taken care of its populace, would have recovered and become vibrant, thriving, multi-generational economies and cultures.

The Make America Young Again plan didn’t work out quite as planned but trump got re-elected and the new hats sold like crazy. The stock market had a temporary revival and luckily for trump, the election was held before the mass senior die-offs of December and January took place. trump perished from CV in the first year of his second term and VP Ivanka assumed office soon after.

“All’s Well That Ends Well” 

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Does Bernie Wish to Sicken Democrats?

A WikiTorial

It’s a given, now, that Sanders cannot win the Democratic nomination unless Joe Biden is laid low by the Corona virus or some other catastrophe befalls him. WikiLeekZ hopes that Sanders is not counting on such an event.

So, why, WikiLeekZ wonders, does Bernie persist in putting the lives of democratic voters and poll works in jeopardy at this time. By remaining in the campaign Bernie increases the chances of voters and many others of contracting the Corona virus, spreading it to their friends and family and prolonging the march of the contagion in the country.

Quixotic? Yes. Selfish? Yes. Unpatriotic? Yes. Egotistical? Yes. Stupid? Yes. Logical? No. Useful? No.

He’s made his point, brought important issues to the fore and fired up supporters that will be needed to defeat trump and down-ballot races in November.

Enough already, as they say in his original hometown. He’s made his mark. He’ll be viewed with integrity and honor in political and cultural history books. He’s led a remarkable political movement.

It’s time, Bernie. Thank your supporters. Tell them that there is yet a bigger task ahead and help carry Biden to the presidency. Take a well-deserved rest and get ready for the campaign to defeat trump.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday.

What’s Wrong With Fauci et al?

We’ve all seen the close-quarters line up of national health care officials or big deal CEO’s on the podium with Pence and trump. By now, WikiLeekZ expects to see that kind of nonsense from trump and to a lesser extent, Pence.

But to see A Fauci, the CEO’s of god knows what huge companies and the country’s top medical leaders all lined up cheek to jowl with one another, shake hands and who knows what else off camera without objecting and speaking out against their lack of social distancing is truly sad.

Have these stalwarts of America been so cowed by Trumpism that they feel as if they have to put themselves in danger and by extension, the nation in danger by their examples? Are they all so feckless that for days, they’ve continued this visual danger, which deceives many uninformed citizens into believing that a handshake and close proximity is okay because trump and his frightened health team don’t have the guts to say stop, this isn’t a good example for Americans to witness. 

WikiLeekZ is still waiting for just one person, when they stand up at the podium to preach the efficacy of social distancing…which they all have, to say “we’ve been doing things wrongly. We need to cease shaking hands immediately and to limit this unnecessary group to the person who is speaking. 

And, you people in the press, haven’t you listened to us tell you to keep 6 feet apart? And you, Mr President, enough of this macho hand shaking shit. Or, ladies and gentlemen, soon there will be far fewer people up here to answer questions and to lead the country”.

Who will that be?

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

We're NOT in a Science Fiction Movie

Dear Family and Friends,

What a time we are living in and, eventually living through! It’s historic…something that our kids and grand kids of the future will be asking their parents and grand parents about. “What was it like? Did you really have to stay in your house for weeks at a time? What did you do? How did all of our family members survive that ‘plague’ while others were not so fortunate? There will be books written, movies made, papers circulated and classes taught about this period.

First of all, we have to take this pandemic seriously. Keep up to date, listen to medical professional and scientists and follow their suggestions to a fault. It’s not a Hoax or a Democratic plot and, unfortunately, we will all see and learn about many more people becoming ill and dying before it has run its course. As Fauci says-“It will get worse”.

Heed the warnings and mandates of local and state officials as they try to control the spread. Mayors, governors and public health officials are on the ground and are reality-based leaders concerned about the safety and welfare of their citizens.

It’s not just a community or a state or even a national crisis - it’s a dangerous, global problem and we’re all in it together. Every one of us on the planet has a duty, as a citizen of Earth, to act responsibly and intelligently as we go about our daily lives. Individually, we are responsible for the health and safety of all our fellow citizens.

If we all act together, we may be able to declare some sort of victory sooner than expected and those who previously have declared that it was over-hyped will be able to smugly report that it wasn’t as bad as advertised. Let them have their moment. We know differently.

Everyone has things on their long ‘to do’ lists. Let’s take advantage of this imposed isolation to do good for ourselves, family and friends.

Be well. Take care. Do good. Wash hands.

Cheers,

Zeny

“What - Me Worry?” Our Omnipotent President

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Trump and Pence continue shaking hands but refuse to be tested as ALL doctors suggest if one has come into contact with a Corona virus carrier. WikiLeekZ calls it the “What-Me Worry?” syndrome.

What is really strange is that trump/Pence continue to put their supporters and allies at risk of getting Corona virus. The duo has refused to get tested so that the possibility exists that they could be first class vectors for spreading the disease amongst their own voters and sycophants.

WikiLeekZ could understand it if they were shaking Democratic voters hands to keep them away from the polls in November; a nefarious plot worthy of Boris Badenov of Rocky and Bullwinkle fame.

WikiLeekZ doesn’t know why they’ve avoided testing. Maybe they’re afraid of the truth or simply don’t believe in scientific evidence. Or, more likely, Pence prays every night to protect him and feels confidant in the power of prayer.

And what of trump? That’s an easy one, he wholeheartedly believes in his Omnipotence. It’s the same reason he stared at the solar eclipse without dark glasses and the reason he continues to eat junk food and drinks up to 12 cans of Coke per day despite scientific evidence that eating junk food is deleterious to one’s health. 

Trump is the macho man we need right now. Striding the country, a scientific unbeliever who is possibly shedding the Corona virus from sea to shining sea and setting an example for his red hat subjects.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

trump and the Next 16 Years

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has learned that trump has ordered Jared Kushner and Steven Miller to begin work on a plan to cancel the November 2020 Federal elections including the presidency

.

Jared is delayed for a day or two as he fixes the Stock Market and develops a vaccine to solve the Coronavirus issue facing the country and world. trump has great confidence in Jared because he’s done so well with everything else he’s attempted.

So far, the working plan is for trump to declare a National Emergency because of the Coronavirus plaguing the country.

1)      trump, in his concern for the safety of all Americans, will cancel the election or ask Republican-controlled state legislatures to cast their Electoral College votes for him. State legislatures controlled by Republicans currently have 294 Electoral College votes (270 needed to win).

2)      trump will declare Martial Law and by Executive Order, place 6 more justices on the Supreme Court.

3)      trump will declare himself President until 2036, leaving office at the same time as V Putin.

4)      The Supreme Court will rubber stamp all Executive Orders

5)      The trump family will be installed in all of the most important positions of power, approved by a Republican Senate.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Stable Genius-Warfighter

trump ‘Single Handedly’ takes on CoronaVirus”

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Early this morning, trump brought the full force of his massive capabilities into the battle against the Novel Coronavirus.

“This is all out war”, he tweeted. “I am going to become the greatest anti- Coronavirus Warfighter this nation has ever seen. Maybe even the greatest in the history of the World”.

WikiLeekZ reminds its readers that the Coronavirus is new so that there was never a need for a ‘Coronavirus Warfighter’ in the past.

In a follow up tweet, trump continued that he would “fight this democrat Scourge/Hoax 24/7, using the strongest, most powerful weapon that I have at my disposal”.

“I will be tweeting and re-tweeting every rumor, bit of gossip, the gospel truth/blathering from Jim Bakker and Fox News that I deem credible”.

“What we do not need in this country right now is scientific, baseless conjecture and falsehoods from the National Institute of Health and the Center for Disease Control” he tweeted.

“What we do need is for the stock market to stabilize and rise to unimaginable heights so that I will be re-elected”, trump’s stubby little fingers wrote in his fifth tweet this morning.

WikiLeekZ noted another tweet from trump’s tweetstorm. – “The April Miracle that I predicted will happen, Coronavirus will disappear and the world will be saved by trump.”

“The world will come to realize that my tweet-power is the greatest force in the world…probably in the history of the world and a lowly virus stands no chance against trump tweeting complete lies and utter nonsense”

“Welcome to my World-the Church of Trump Tweets.” –Donald J trump

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday