WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game
Last night, in a series of tweets,
trump triumphantly trumpeted the boffo ratings of his daily Corona virus Press
Conferences. 2 of those tweets are printed below.
Because the
“Ratings” of my News Conferences etc. are so high, “Bachelor finale, Monday
Night Football type numbers” according to the @nytimes, the Lamestream Media is going CRAZY. “Trump
is reaching too many people, we must stop him.” said one lunatic. See you at
5:00 P.M.!
“President Trump is a ratings hit.
Since reviving the daily White House briefing Mr. Trump and his coronavirus
updates have attracted an average audience of 8.5 million on cable news,
roughly the viewership of the season finale of ‘The Bachelor.’ Numbers are
continuing to rise...
WikiLeekZ has discovered that Trump’s
re-election team is quietly scrambling around for a replacement of the Corona
virus-themed so-called News Conference for when the virus has inevitably run
its course. They’re looking into every and all possibilities although no one on
the team expects the replacement disaster to have the same over the top ratings
that the combination of trump and Corona virus have generated.
Famine, Pestilence, War, Death, McDonald’s
closing, Alien Invasion, Mass Suicide, His Helmet Hair Company Bankruptcy, Tsunamis,
Earthquakes and Plagues of Locusts are all under consideration as possible new disaster-themed
Press Conference themes.
Astonishingly, trump’s poll numbers
have risen slightly since he began substituting his ‘News Conferences’ for the
mass devotee rallies of this election season.
No one in trump’s camp (almost no one,
well, maybe a few) wishes for a huge spike in plague deaths of Americans
(especially if they are trump voters). However, according to his re-election
team, a continuing ‘acceptable’ number of mostly democratic voters…not a lot
mind you, just enough to keep headlines buzzing until November would be the
perfect scenario to keep trump in office for 4 more years.
WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday
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