trump Plans Costly Patriotic Sendoff from Florida on Inauguration Day…Biden Agrees

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

For weeks, the press has been speculating on trump’s Inaugural Week ideas. WikiLeekZ can now reveal trump’s plans.

Trump, in concert with his newly minted Space Force is planning a blockbuster sendoff from trump’s new Florida home base.

WikiLeekZ has learned the bad news that the extravaganza will cost taxpayers 74 million dollars…on Biden’s tab, of course.

The good news, for at least 80 million Americans who voted to remove trump from office, is that trump will be the first American to venture to Mars. trump has been convinced that being the first person on Mars will make him the most famous person in the world…and ‘what’s more important than that’, trump asks!

Approximately 100 days from liftoff, trump will be landing on Mars about the same time that President Biden signs his last executive order rolling back hundreds of trump’s damaging orders.

During those 100 days, WikiLeekZ has noticed that the lights have been turned off in the Space Force ‘Return From Mars Planning Department’.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 Buffalo Horned Guy to Get Major Book and Film Deals

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Today, WikiLeekZ has learned that the ‘Buffalo Guy’, who was part of the invasion of and insurrection at the Capitol Building on January 6th has retained an talent agent as well as a criminal attorney.

From his perch in jail, ‘Buffalo Guy’ is fielding offers his agent is forwarding him  for major film deals as well as a book deal, an animated film project and a TV cartoon series tentatively titled “Buffalo Guy Roams the Capitol”.

His agent is trying to smuggle granola and kale into his cell while Buffalo Guy continues on his vegetarian hunger strike. He was heard to shout that real patriotic American Buffaloes maintained a strict vegetarian diet and that he would continue his hunger strike until he was served genuine Montana Buffalo Grass.

In the meantime, he misses his Mommy and has trouble sleeping without his fur hat and trump flag.

Word from his agent is that he had better maintain his health because his calendar of personal appearances (at 5K a pop) with Donald trump (at 3K a pop) is filling up fast.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

 

 The Sweet Silence of a Cowed Semi-literate, Bullying, Wanna-be Dictator

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

It took me a couple of days but I’ve finally decompressed from the Twitter High that was trump. I had been in a heightened state of bewilderment and rage on an almost daily basis since that pompous ride down the escalator in 2015.

The silence now coming from the White House has a palpable calming effect on me and, I suspect, many others in the country. It’s like a soft summer rain falling upon leaves or a quiet brook running over rounded stones as you watch it flow while sitting on its bank.

Were it not for the Insurrection of 2021, which took place January 6th because of trump’s incitement and the exciting Georgia runoff election, the New Year would be incredibly calm allowing us to focus on the worst health crises in the nations’ history, also brought about by trump’s ignorance and lack of empathy toward his fellow man.

I realize it may be too much to hope for a Twitter-less trump from here on out, but I hold out hope that the news media will not report and react to every little inane, lying hate-filled utterance from that stain upon American History when he is shorn of his position.

Peace. Quiet. Calm. I'm crossing my fingers for 2021.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

trump  - ‘Resignation is Possible, We’ll have to See’

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

According to sources in the White House close to both trump and WikiLeekZ, trump is considering resigning from his post as president of the United States.

In semi-confidential talks with close aids, WikiLeekZ has learned that trump has expressed a desire ‘to spend more time with my family’.

Trump believes that leaving the presidency early would also allow him to perfect his golf game and watch the Wharton School of Business webinars on ‘How to Avoid Bankruptcy in the Hotel Business’ and ‘Diversity Training for Your Hotels’.

trump also related to associates that resigning immediately would enable him to continue his studies of Newtonian Physics and catch up with episodes of ‘The Tiger King’.

trump’s aides also suggested to WikiLeekZ that trump was anxious to put the finishing touches on the Great American Novel on which he has been tirelessly working since that fateful ride down the escalator five years ago in NYC with the love of his life.

The sticking point for thump is his mistrust of Pence. He doesn’t trust a President Pence to grant trump a pardon nor is trump sure that Pence will honor his pledge to appoint Ivanka as Vice President. 

So trump has yet another weighty question to ponder as he searches the White House for an errant Twitter account enabling him to enlighten the world of his latest fantasies and lies.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ But May Be Someday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

McConnell, Pence and McCarthy to make longest 2.3 mile Journey in American History

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Tomorrow, the three of the four top Republican leaders in WDC will be making this long drive from the Capitol to the White House to have a short talk with trump.

Their mission is to tell trump to resign within 24 hours. They will lay it all out to trump and explain that they, Congress, and the military want and expect him to resign within 24 hours. They also inform trump that all forms of communication except for one direct line to McConnell in or out of the White house are severed.

In addition, the Secret Service is ordered not to allow anyone to enter or leave the White House for 48 hours.

They will have these documents to hand to trump in a hand-tooled Corinthian Leather briefcase.

·         A signed letter the Congressional Seal from Nancy Pelosi simply stating that if trump is still in office 24 hours after the presentation of this notice, the House of Representatives will vote to impeach trump the following day.

·         A signed document from Mitch McConnell stating that if the Impeachment goes forward, the Senate will begin the trial of trump within one hour of receipt of The Articles of Impeachment.

·         A list signed by 31 Republican Senators stating that they will vote to convict trump which, with Democratic votes, will exceed the 2/3 majority required.

·         A signed letter by VP Mike pence stating if trump does not resign within 24 hours of receipt of this letter, he will invoke the 25^th Amendment within 28 hours of trump’s receipt of the letter.

·         A signed document by all but one Cabinet Secretary (de Vos) stating that if VP Pence brings the 25^th Amendment to a Cabinet vote, they will vote to relieve trump of his duties. The letter further states that beginning now, they will no longer respond to any request by trump.

·         A letter by every member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff that beginning right now, they will no longer obey any order for any military action from trump.

·         A digital photo of the Military officer carrying the Nuclear ‘Football’ being escorted out of the White House with an arrow pointing to the briefcase.

·         An inventory of US Government-owned articles including but not limited to artwork, silver, crystal and china in the White House that cannot be removed by trump, Melania or Barron and placed into the moving van parked out front.

·         A calendar with January 18th, 2021 circled in red and a countdown clock informing trump of the date and time to vacate the White house.

·         An official letter to Air Force One’s pilot informing him that trump cannot be flown to any country without an Extradition Treaty with the US.

·         A script for trump to read which will be broadcast over all TV and Radio networks, Fox News, Breitbart News, Twitter, Chan 8 and Parler stating unequivocally to stay away from WDC from this date until February 1^st.

·         A letter from Pence guaranteeing that he, as President Pence, will pardon trump for all of his federal crimes upon trump’s resignation from the office of the President.

·         A letter on White House stationary stating that “I, Donald J Trump, hereby resign from the Presidency of the United States” . 

The three men tell trump that he’d better goddamn well resign or else and burst into song…”So long it’s been good to know yuh”… as they take their leave.

trump is left sitting all alone at the Resolute Desk weeping and plaintively calling out to his father, Fred, to help him out just one more time.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

 

 

 

Yes, People, “This is America”

A WikiTorial

Yesterday Senator after Senator, Congressman after Congress Woman pompously and piously, one after another, got up and solemnly, earnestly stood in their chambers and said to all who listened…

“This is not America”

“This is not who we are”

I watched TV just minutes before their “This is not America” speeches as rioters; real, honest-to-god American terrorists, stormed the Capitol at the behest of their leader-The president of the United States of America.

I’m pretty sure he’s an American and judging by the various flags the rebels were carrying, the thuggish criminals attacking our Capitol building were, in actual fact, Americans. This IS America, people!

This IS who we are!

Those Insurrectionists weren’t Saudi or Nazi thugs from Germany nor Red Coats and Red Hat wearing soldiers led by a Cornwallis-like general.

People, they are us. They are Americans. This is who we are!

They are as American as the Americans who launched the mass killings in Las Vegas, Newtown, Orlando, Columbine and dozens of other venues. As American as Apple Pie.

And trump is as American as a Big Mac, an Egg McMuffin and a Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

He’s a racist, a liar, a cheater a grifter and all-around evil person who, yesterday, as in the past, was taking advantage of and using the under-educated, out-for-a-thrill, poor American slobs as a last gasp to save his waning grifter empire. That empire was and continues to be supported by the likes of All American boy, Senator Josh Hawley of Stanford and Yale Law and Senator Ted Cruz of Princeton and Harvard law… They’re from Missouri and Texas which are in America.

Giuliani, Pence, S Miller, Jared, Donnie, Ivanka, and the whole cabinet grifter crew…they are all Americans and are all complicit in the attempted coup d'état attempt yesterday.

They are us; they are a part of America; a selfish, cruel, racist, eleemosynary segment of the American population that has been with us since the slaughter of Native Americans, the America of slave holders and our America of Vietnam, Iraq and Wounded Knee.

How about we Americans start being honest with ourselves and admit who a large segment of Americans really are?  We’re not all high-minded American individuals aspiring to model our lives after Lincoln, MLK, Jr. and Eleanor Roosevelt.

I’m sick at heart from hearing public officials, mostly from the right braying “this is not America”, “this is not who we are”  while spending many of their waking hours enabling and encouraging the destruction of people, institutions and the laws of our country.

Yes, trump needs to be made accountable by impeachment or the 25^th Amendment. But we can’t forget the millions of Americans who enabled those cruel, hateful and greedy office holders, media personalities and thought leaders who are destroying America.

WikiLeekZ is THE NEWZ Today

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 WikiLeekZ is Another Victim of  trump Tearing the Fabric of Time

WikiLeekZ asks…’Has time slowed down for you since the election’?

WikiLeekZ is Our name…Satire is Our Game

For WikiLeekZ, the time since Election Day on Tuesday, November 3, 2020 has seemed interminable. It’s been less than two months since the election but

what used to feel like a minute on Nov 3 now seems more like an hour. For WikiLeekZ, an hour in Nov is now like a day in December and the two months since Election Day has been a lifetime to WikiLeekZ.

Waiting for trump to finally leave office now feels like a far off, distant dream…the present an actualized nightmare. When is this all going to be over?, WikiLeekZ wonders. Will trump ever leave office or are we destined to replay this trump idiocy forever as together, we traverse trump’s Mobius strip of failure and cruelty?

In his final diabolical cruel plot against Americans trump has stolen time or rather has defied Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking’s theories and calculations. He has slowed Time down to a crawl.

While trump golfs at normal speed and time down in Mar al Lago, I am trying to go about my life while mired in a quick sand spiked with Elmer’s Glue and molasses’s.

How can that be? Rationally, I think I know that trump will one day leave the White house and office. But time has been magically lengthened making me wonder if January 20^th will ever arrive.

Perhaps Dr Who can solve the mystery.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Some Day