General Kelly, "Have you no Shame"?

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game

W H Chief of Staff Kelly rewrites US history…“lack of ability to compromise led to the Civil War”

WikileekZ loses faith in General Kelly, so SAD!

General Kelly tries out well-worn Trump tactic of deflection, changing the news focus and ‘look at the shiny object’ theory/practice.

In an interview on Fox ‘News’, John Kelly, Chief of Staff to President Trump, tried to rewrite history on Monday when he told Fox News’ Laura Ingraham that the Civil War was caused by a “lack of ability to compromise.”

WikiLeekZ can only surmise that such an ill-informed, outrageous statement was put forth to take the spotlight away from Manafort, Gates and Papadopoulos. The Mississippi Secession Ordinance* clearly states that the right of slavery was the cause.

General Kelly, "Have you no shame"?

Please read below and weep-
  

*Mississippi Secession Ordinance…written in January 1861 by Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lamar (II)

”Our position is thoroughly identified with the institution of slavery - the greatest material interest of the world. Its labor supplies the product, which constitutes by far the largest and most important portions of commerce of the earth. These products are peculiar to the climate verging on the tropical regions, and by an imperious law of nature, none but the black race can bear exposure to the tropical sun. These products have become necessities of the world, and a blow at slavery is a blow at commerce and civilization. That blow has been long aimed at the institution, and was at the point of reaching its consummation. There was no choice left us but submission to the mandates of abolition, or dissolution of the Union, whose principles had been subverted to work out our ruin”.

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Mueller Eyes Trump

WikiLeekZ Exclusive!!

WikiLeekZ is Our name, Satire is Our Game

Special Counsel Robert Mueller to Indict Trump

WikiLeekZ has the best 3rd hand information that Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller will bring charges against Donald J Trump, Sr. on Monday.

The sealed indictment states that Mueller has uncovered a little known, obscure Constitutional codicil to the 25th Amendment* stating that among reasons to remove a sitting president from office by a Special Counsel are: stupid, vindictive, crude, bullying and ignorant Tweets; watching Fox News to an unbelievably excessive degree and getting his (or her) news exclusively from Fox; wearing excessively long red ties more than 2 times a week and willfully ignoring common norms of decency and ethics.

This here-to-fore unknown provision of the Constitution gives Carte Blanche to a Special Counsel to… on his (or her) own, ride his horse over to the White House and arrest and charge the president for any of the above offenses, thereby circumventing the Cabinet's 25th Amendment role.

A Constitutional sub codicil states that if the VP is excessively religious, exceptionally conservative or uses an excessive amount of hair spray, he (or she) shall not ascend to the presidency and a special popular vote election will take place if and when the president is found guilty as charged.

In the interim, the candidate with the highest number of popular votes in the most recent presidential election will assume the highest office in the land. ...if he (or she) chooses to do so.

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* Section Four of the 25th Amendment adds that if the vice president and other high ranking officials inform Congress that the president is unable to perform his duties, the vice president assumes control unless the president petitions to Congress, which then must decide in favor of the president or the vice president.

“But you know, he must have known what he signed up for”

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ Excluzive:

According to Congresswoman Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-Fla.), President Trump called the widow of Army Sgt. La David Johnson (who was killed in action in Africa 2 weeks ago) on Tuesday.

 

Myeshia Johnson, his pregnant widow, La David Johnson’s mother and Wilson were all present for the call on speakerphone from Trump. Both Johnson’s mother and Wilson confirmed that Trump told Myeshia Johnson…

“But you know, he must have known what he signed up for”

“President Trump did disrespect my son and my daughter and also me and my husband,” Cowanda Jones-Johnson told The Washington Post on Wednesday.

After hearing of Trump’s words of comfort to Johnson’s widow, WikiLeekZ has researched numerous conversations that Trump has had with administration officials and office holders such as Sec. Tillerson, Jeff Sessions, Senator McConnell, Paul Ryan, John McCain, Senator Corker, Senator Flake, Melania, Sean Spicer and Generals Mattis and McMaster.

WikiLeekZ has discovered one thread connecting all of these figures with Trump. President Trump told each and every one of them very clearly… in various settings and times…

“But you know, you must have known what you signed up (or voted) for.”

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Trump Rages at Mother Nature for Stealing His Thunder

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

According to highly placed officials in the White House, WikiLeekZ has learned that Donald Trump has been raging mad these past few weeks. He’s been shouting incoherently in the hallways dressed in his PJ’s during all hours of the night…sometimes in the daytime too.

According to White House domestic help, His anger seems to stem from the headlines that Mother Nature has been hogging ever since Hurricane Harvey landed in Texas with its record breaking rainfall, winds, flooding and death.

He countered Harvey, said a W H staffer, and dealt with it by creating a Korean nuclear crisis at the UN to bring him back into the headlines; he even created a NFL “Son of a Bitch” brouhaha to level the playing field.

Then Irma struck Florida with a vengeance, causing more deaths and Trump cried out to no one in particular…”can’t I get a break”? Trump, always one to counter punch, endangered the DACA deal which threatened the 800,00 Dreamers and raged at congress about the Obamacare fiasco.

To make matters worse in his eyes, Maria came storming across Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands…killing citizens and threatening to win the above-the-fold and 24/7 cable news coverage.

“Hell” he said, “What is She doing to me”? So, he went down to Puerto Rico to try out for the Puerto Rican Paper Towel Throwing Olympic Team and picked a fight with San Juan’s mayor.

Just when he thought he was out of the woods, some deranged guy in Las Vegas replaced Trump in the headlines causing over 500 casualties. Trump had to practically declare WW III in a futile attempt to wrest the headlines away from Las Vegas.

Next in Trump’s tale of woes came Harvey Weinstein barging into the picture. Trump was running low on his bag of tricks but cunningly came up with the Moron-IQ gambit…which sort of worked until Mother Nature struck again in the California Wine Country.

“That’s a toughie” a W H maintenance man told WikiLeekZ he overheard the Commander-in-Chief sobbing about. “I’ll de-certify the Iran deal, scrap insurance payments for 7 million poor people and continue my feud with ‘Liddle’ Bob Corker”. “That should put me back in the headlines”, he gleefully shouted!

The maintenance man then saw Trump happily skipping down a corridor looking for his phone to tweet out yet another know-nothing, head-scratching, cruel message to his ill-informed, under-educated base.

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Trump promises to inform public of the commencement of WWIII (3)

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

"You'll be the first to know", promises Trump

By Executive Order, President Trump has hired an outside PR firm to inform the American people approximately 5-10 minutes before the outbreak of WWIII. It will be the PR firms' additional responsibility to send an e-mail to the Joint Chiefs of Staff at least 30 minutes prior to commencement of WWIII.

Trump has chosen this method of informing the appropriate people instead of making an Oval Office announcement. The reason, according to SHS, is that Trump and his family will be inspecting the underground  nuclear bomb shelter at SAC (Strategic Air Command) Headquarters in Nebraska at the precise time of the beginning of his Fury and Fire nuclear policy.

In a press release today, Sarah Huckabee Sanders said... "The president's visit to inspect the underground nuclear bomb- proof facilities will prove, without a doubt, that Trump is not a Moron".

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Move over Oscar, Make room for Harvey!

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

In a purloined draft press release, WikiLeekZ has learned that the Academy Award Foundation will announce a new category.

The draft release in its entirety follows...

"Starting in April 2017, at the Awards Ceremony, 'a  new award, the HARVEY, will  be presented to the person in the entertainment business who best exemplifies  the most egregious sexual predator of the year.

The Harvey was named in honor of Harvey Weinstein, who will be the initial recipient. At the same time, cheap, small fake replicas will be awarded to Roger Ailes (posthumously), the 2  Bills...Cosby and O'Reilly and to  Donald Trump.

The award will be a 3 inch tin phallus taken from a plaster cast of one of the recipients”.

The draft press states that

 “Harvey will be cited for an amazing ability to fool himself into thinking that such an unattractive man would want to be gazed at while bathing or masturbating by young, beautiful, talented women. He tricked himself into believing it and then ACTED upon such a preposterous supposition! What skill and devotion”!

WikiLeekZ has also learned that Gloria Allred has agreed to present Harvey with the first Harvey.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 “I did not call the President a Moron a dolt, a dunce or a dullard; Fake Newz”! - Rex Tillerson said in response to an NBC report.

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Today, in a hastily called press conference, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson (‘Tillie’, as Trump affectionately calls him), forcefully said that “he did not call Our Dear Leader a Moron a dolt, a dunce or a dullard”.

“I distinctly recall that it was General Mattis who called him an Unbelievably Moronic Imbecile”.

“Or was it General Kelly? Maybe McMaster. I think it was Kelly who may have called him an Unmitigated Idiot who shouldn’t even be a low level gofer in the Department of Agriculture.  Perhaps he meant golfer”.

Tillerson continued by saying that...

“It was after Mattis, Kelly and I had a few drinks and were reading and roaring about Trump’s latest Tweets. We call it ‘R & R’ in the White House”.

“I think I topped them all when I referred to Our Great Leader as  A lazy, stupid, crazy, irresponsible Dotard. I got Dotard from Kim*…good Karma, no”? That’s spelled D O T A R D.

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* Kim Jung Un  called Mr Trump a “mentally deranged U.S. dotard”

WHAT IF?

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

What If only Blacks and Latinos owned guns?

What If the NRA was banned from campaign donations?

What if the dead mass murder victims could speak?

What if tourists stayed away from Las Vegas starting today?

What if Jesus wrote an Op-ed?

What if pet dogs and cats were slaughtered by guns in public every day in America?

What if every federally elected official had a family member killed or wounded in LV?

What if public ballistic mass destruction of American Flags took place every day?

What If?

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

NOT What If…13,286 people were killed in the US by firearms in 2015, according to the Gun Violence Archive, and 26,819 people were wounded

Cash and Carnage…an American Tradition

NRA & NFL set to sign Pact

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has it on good authority* that the NRA is going to make a proposal to the NFL. Their plan is to encourage its membership to bring their guns to Sunday football games.

Those NRA members bringing fully loaded AK 47's will be treated to a Skybox seat. If you're carrying a hunting rifle or other long gun, a field level seat will be at your disposal and packing any hand gun will allow you to sit in 50 yard line seats.

Seating arrangements will be partially paid for by Smith&Wesson, Colt and other arms manufacturers. Johnson&Johnson which expects to continue selling at least 20% of its medical supplies due to gunshot wounds, Fox News and Forest Lawn Cemetery will pick up the rest of the tab.

According to the leaked Pact draft, one of the NRA's best arguments for this arrangement is that if the football players take a knee instead of properly honoring the Flag, there's a good chance that one or more of the players will be shot as an example to all other protesters.

Trump, all nationally elected Republicans and even some Democratic congressmen have agreed to support this effort by the NRA in an attempt to boost gun sales and by extension, continue these uniquely American traditions of mass carnage and cash to politicians.

The NRA has been heartened by the House and Senate's previous inactivity after Columbine, Newtown and Orlando.

Trump is set to deliver his speech in Las Vegas tomorrow...the final rewrite of his speech has already been e-mailed to him by the NRA PR department.

*WikiLeekZ's high school campaign manager went on to be an important cog in the NRA machinery...and is now leaking secret NRA memos.

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Legislators and President take vital steps to stop mass murders

Praying and Preying…the Words of the Day

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

All across the country, from Republican mayors to the President, elected officials are doing all in their power to stop this uniquely American style carnage. In their many messages of concern, they are echoing the president’s words of prayer…

“for every American who has been hurt, wounded or lost the ones they loved so dearly in this terrible, terrible attack,”

They are also praying “for the entire nation to find unity and peace, and praying for the day when evil is banished, and the innocent are safe from hatred and from fear”

.

Praying is a sure-fire way of stopping these mass murders by crazy people using automatic assault-style guns to Prey on innocents.

What else could these Congressmen, Senators and the President do to stop the carnage?

WikiLeekZ pulled the trigger and consulted the NRA…which responded that they had absolutely no idea of what else but Prayer could be done to stop the carnage.

Preying upon the fears of federally elected officials losing NRA support seems to be the modus operandi of the times.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Chief Duffer Plays a Round… Puerto Rico Suffers on the Ground

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

President Trump saw fit to play a  golf game instead of actually playing president.

Instead of rolling up his sleeves and overseeing US aid to PR as Commander in Chief, he donned a Polo shirt, spikes & MAGA hat and hit the links this weekend at Bedminister.

Trump has yet to link that being president means that he can and should actually help real Americans survive natural disasters such as being hungry, thirsty and in need of medicine.

It's rumored that the whole Trump clan will fly to PR on Tuesday in order to scout out future hotel and golf course locations which they can snap up at bargain prices if the crisis can be extended a few more weeks.

They figure that at five hundred deaths, property values will really start to plummet in PR!

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

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