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Trump Rages at Mother Nature for Stealing His Thunder

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According to highly placed officials in the White House, WikiLeekZ has learned that Donald Trump has been raging mad these past few weeks. He’s been shouting incoherently in the hallways dressed in his PJ’s during all hours of the night…sometimes in the daytime too.

According to White House domestic help, His anger seems to stem from the headlines that Mother Nature has been hogging ever since Hurricane Harvey landed in Texas with its record breaking rainfall, winds, flooding and death.

He countered Harvey, said a W H staffer, and dealt with it by creating a Korean nuclear crisis at the UN to bring him back into the headlines; he even created a NFL “Son of a Bitch” brouhaha to level the playing field.

Then Irma struck Florida with a vengeance, causing more deaths and Trump cried out to no one in particular…”can’t I get a break”? Trump, always one to counter punch, endangered the DACA deal which threatened the 800,00 Dreamers and raged at congress about the Obamacare fiasco.

To make matters worse in his eyes, Maria came storming across Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands…killing citizens and threatening to win the above-the-fold and 24/7 cable news coverage.

“Hell” he said, “What is She doing to me”? So, he went down to Puerto Rico to try out for the Puerto Rican Paper Towel Throwing Olympic Team and picked a fight with San Juan’s mayor.

Just when he thought he was out of the woods, some deranged guy in Las Vegas replaced Trump in the headlines causing over 500 casualties. Trump had to practically declare WW III in a futile attempt to wrest the headlines away from Las Vegas.

Next in Trump’s tale of woes came Harvey Weinstein barging into the picture. Trump was running low on his bag of tricks but cunningly came up with the Moron-IQ gambit…which sort of worked until Mother Nature struck again in the California Wine Country.

“That’s a toughie” a W H maintenance man told WikiLeekZ he overheard the Commander-in-Chief sobbing about. “I’ll de-certify the Iran deal, scrap insurance payments for 7 million poor people and continue my feud with ‘Liddle’ Bob Corker”. “That should put me back in the headlines”, he gleefully shouted!

The maintenance man then saw Trump happily skipping down a corridor looking for his phone to tweet out yet another know-nothing, head-scratching, cruel message to his ill-informed, under-educated base.

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