WikiLeekZ  Puts on Its Thinking Cap

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

In an interview with Hannity on Faux Newz last week, trump opined

“There doesn’t have to be a process, as I understand it,” Trump said. “You’re the president of the United States, you can declassify just by saying it’s declassified, even by thinking about it.”

That was welcomed news for WikiLeekZ because yesterday, WikiLeekZ put on its Thinking Cap and is now waiting by the phone for congratulatory calls from:

The Nobel Prize Committee for thinking about how to assure peace between Russia and Ukraine

The Pulitzer Prize people for thinking about writing explosive articles detailing where Elvis is hiding out and what he’s been doing since his ‘disappearance’.

The Booker Prize Committee for thinking about starting to write that Great American Novel.

The Academy Awards …WikiLeekZ admits he wasn’t actually thinking about winning best actor- just dreamed about it. Does that still count?

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

“Soon, we hope”-WikiLeekZ

 

Donald Who? What Was That Name Again?

WikiLeekZ is Our Name, Satire is Our Game

Yesterday, after the momentous legal pronouncements handed down in regard to trump’s legal challenges, WikiLeekZ’s intrepid Washington reporters have fanned out across the Federal City to interview as many Republicans as possible.

WikiLeekZ wanted to get their opinions in the light of the seemingly crushing legal jeopardy trump finds himself in.

Of the 128 Republicans WikiLeekZ approached for comment, only seven responded; the remaining 121 acted as if they were trying out for the Summer Olympics track team or just remembered that they had to meet a man with a dog.

When asked to comment about Donald J trump, the former president, House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy replied ‘Donald who? What did you say his name was’?

Mitch McConnell grandly said  “that the number one priority he had was keeping President Trump from getting a second term.”

Liz Cheney simply repeated a modified chant often heard at trump rallies ‘Lock him up, lock him up’!

WikiLeekZ had a stroke of luck when our reporter encountered Don, Jr coming out of the Trump International Hotel bar looking somewhat disheveled. In commenting about his dad, Don, Jr was in tears and said ‘Daddy always liked Ivanka better than me or Eric, I never got the puppy for Christmas and he never sat down with us for dinne’ ; he quickly walked away hiding his tears from passersby.

A few minutes later, the same reporter stopped a guy with a hard hat and carpenter’s belt and asked him to comment on trump’s legal woes. His vociferous response drew a small crowd. ‘Yeah, I know that son of a bitch-he stiffed me for $62,000 for extensive cabinetry work I did at his hotel-right behind us. And I’m not the only one of us small business men. I heard that some of his lawyers never got paid for work that they did either’.

One of our reporters had the idea to go to a local golf course to see what he could turn up. ‘Senator Graham, do you have a comment on Donald trump’s legal predicament’?

‘trump?, trump?…wasn’t he the guy with the funny, kind of orange hair who used to have some sort of job in DC? I really didn’t know him very well; although I’d occasionally see him on the Bedminster golf course’.

‘Hey Sean, Sean Hannity did you know Donald trump?  ‘Yeah, I once knew that grifter, played golf with him a couple of times but stopped playing with him when he cheated on the 17^th  green at Bethesda…he swindled me out of five bucks! Other than that, I hardly knew him. I’d see him around the studio with Tucker; we always called him the Great Unknowing…never knew what he did for a living.’

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

By the way, some of you who have been reading WikiLeekZ don’t realize that I write it… not just forwarding something that I like.

Cheers,

Zeny

 

After Legal Setbacks, the Orange-Crowned Super Mole Surveys His Domain

WikiLeekZ is Our Name, Satire is Our Game

Yesterday, the trump appointed/dominated US Appeals Court and the New York Attorney General delivered devastating whacks to the Orange-Crowned Super Mole - aka Donald J trump.

However, as the Super Mole surveyed his domain of the too-many-to-count victorious legal issues, he felt confident that he could again win at the government ‘Witch Hunt’ game of Whack-A-Mole.

As he surveyed his pocked-marked field of political life with a malicious all-knowing grin, he fondly recalled the history of his many close escapes from the political and legal mallet assaults of his vicious enemies.

After all, among his many victories were his survival of  two impeachment attempts, countless sexual assault charges and so far  the January 6^th Committee accusations. Why wouldn’t he evade these new charges now he thought?

WHACK!

WikiLeekZ is NOT  the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 

 

 

WikiLeekZ predicts 17 Come to Jesus moments

the fact we now know there were highly classified, restricted access documents about another country’s nuclear defense capabilities stored at Mar-a-Lago is a game changer with regard to the risk it poses to our national security”.- Shawn Turner, former director of communications for US national intelligence.

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ makes a prediction…

Despite the above revelation, WikiLeekZ predicts that no more than 17 trump ordinary MAGA acolytes will have changed they minds and allegiance away from trump…and that’s only because they thought him stupid to not have destroyed, traded them for complete exoneration or sold the documents.

By the way, on an August 9^th posting, WikiLeekZ suggested that among the love letters from Kim, the naked pictures of Macron and other such personal stuff, the FBI would find evidence of nuclear secrets in those basement-dwelling Bankers Boxes.

Once the Feds figure out what the contents of those strangely empty 40-some secret folders are, all hell is going to break loose among the Democrats; but nary a peep will be heard from those batshit crazy Republican office holders.

Those 30-40 million MAGA trumpists are so deep into their obsession with trump that they dare not come out publicly and refute his mendacious, dissolute life. So, after the contents of the empty folders is ascertained, WikiLeekZ is predicting that no more than 23 trumpers will go to confession and come clean to their priests.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

wikileekz.blogspot.com

 

 

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

 

trump Promises to Place Jan 6^th Patriots in Positions of Trust

 

On Thursday, Former president Donald Trump said that he would “issue full pardons and a government apology to rioters who stormed the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, and violently attacked law enforcement to stop the democratic transfer of power.

“I mean full pardons with an apology to many,”

 

To further show his appreciation of the Jan 6^th Patriots, trump promised to place many of them into positions of ‘Public Trust’ and Power.

 

Trump also forcefully stated that he would continue his policy of pardoning 2 live, loser Thanksgiving turkeys.

Additionally, trump casually mentioned providing a retroactive pardon to Jeffery Epstein

 

trump also brazenly declared that he would issue pardons to General Mike Flynn,    Steve Bannon, Madison Cawthorne and Matt Gaetz on Day One of his second four year presidential term and would re-consider the hundreds of pardon requests he received as he was leaving the White House on Jan 20, 2021

 

In addition, trump declared  ‘I have no doubt that if I choose to become a candidate; I will make sure that all poll workers, election officials and voting machines understand exactly what it will take to elect me President For Life and to MAGA!

 

In order to fulfill the wish of millions of my supporters, on DAY TWO, I will ‘Lock Her Up’

 

His last declaration in regard to the issuance of Presidential Pardons once he becomes president is that he will create a new department; The Department of Indulgences and Pardons. This new NGO will examine all requests for Pardons in the light of how much money the supplicant is willing to pay The Donald to stay out of jail in order to continue his or her nefarious/criminal/immoral behavior.

 

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

 trump to Name Ivanka President-in-Exile.

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Yesterday, our Former Fearless Fuhrer demanded that he be installed as commander-in-chief of the United States

trump proposed a “minimal solution” if he is not returned to the White House right away: Declare the 2020 vote “irreparably compromised” and hold a new election “immediately.”

In golf terms, trump wants a Mulligan and a Gimme on the 2020 election because, he declared, “the 2020 Election irreparably compromised and have a new Election, immediately!”

Trump, well-known for cheating at golf, offered a compromise third way solution in which trump would declare Ivanka President-in-Exile until this whole unbelievable Wrong Election/Tournament has been Rectified. While in exile, Ivanka will be living in a castle on a Scottish trump property.

In the same screed, trump also demanded that the Academy Awards retroactively award him an Oscar for his cameo role in the 1992 movie Home Alone 2

Thirdly, trump demanded that the National Association of Universities declare trump University as the forth greatest university in the world just behind Harvard, MIT and Stanford and slightly better than Cal Tech, Oxford and Cambridge Universities.

 Additionally, but importantly, trump wanted to demand that Golf Digest declare that the 18 Golf Club Championships (at his clubs) trump says he won, be memorialized in a special commemorative issue… even though, despite what The Commander in Cheat swears, his version is total fiction.

This was a bridge too far for even a trump. Don, Jr convinced his dad that if reporters started digging into his ‘inaccurate’ golf scores and other deviousness- which enabled him to claim 18 club championships and then discovered that he was (and is) the Commander in Cheat, all of his rich golfing buddies would declare him persona non grata and promptly end his political career.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday