Trump Spurs Nations’ TV Sales

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WikiLeekZ has just read a revealing report by the TV Sales of America Foundation which states that since Trump’s entry into the 2016 presidential contest, TV sales in America and throughout the world in general have skyrocketed.

Trump has boasted that “TV sales in America have taken off since I entered the race”. Another feather in my MAGA cap”, he bragged.

A close reading of the article states that Americans have been trooping in droves to Best Buy, Video Only, Walmart and other TV retailers lugging smashed-in screens hoping for a warranty replacement.

However, most retailers are loathe to grant credit on those TV’s, many of which have shoes, remote control devices and even full bowls of Pasta Vongole with red sauce, lodged along with wires and shards of glass inside the casing.

So, inevitably, the consumers buy a new TV with mixed emotions. Even though they had to lay out hundreds of dollars for a new unit, amazingly 95.7% have walked out the doors and into their cars wearing wide grins of satisfaction; pleased that for one fleeting moment they were able to silence the lying, braggadocio in the White House…when no one else has yet been able to do so.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Photos of Melania entering UFO!

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

WASHINGTON (AP) — The National Enquirer kept a safe containing documents on hush money payments and other damaging stories it killed as part of its cozy relationship with Donald Trump leading up to the 2016 presidential election, people familiar with the arrangement told The Associated Press.

WikiLeekZ has had the opportunity to read some of the other ‘damaging stories’ removed from the National Enquirer’s safe. In addition to the mundane call girl and Hustler model stories, WikiLeekZ has found hundreds of Enquirer articles about Trump that the National Enquirer has withheld from its readers throughout the years. Some of the headlines are listed below.

“Melania uncovered as an Alien Spy working for Russia…photos entering UFO”! 

“Trump gets his Hair Coloring from planet Saturn”

“Trump Spawn to run for 4 Senate seats with Russian financial and hacking help”

“Trump receives his Secret Orders from Putin in Big Mac wrappers from WDC McDonalds”

“Trump bank account overdrawn last 6 years”

NYC Pierre Hotel has tapes of Trump, comely Russian women and ET frolicking in bed…color photos!”

“Trump wins 2020 presidential election…Secret Russian Dossier details exact vote count years in advance”

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Trump tweets ‘It’s not my fault’ and Blames Medical ‘Sexual Disorder’

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Updated, 5:25 p.m. August 21, 2018:     Michael Cohen, President Donald Trump's former personal lawyer, stated Tuesday that Trump directed him to pay Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal to stay silent about damaging stories of sexual liaisons that occurred before the 2016 presidential campaign.

The statement came as part of a plea deal that Cohen struck Tuesday afternoon with Federal prosecutors in New York.

WikiLeekZ reports that in response to Cohen’s plea, President Trump tweeted “it’s not my fault that I had these 2 affairs…and many others, I might add”, he gloated.

‘Giuliani and others are telling me to plead innocence because of my ‘illness’. So, I said okay’.

 ‘I have a sexual disorder’ Trump continued and said that ‘according to Wikipedia, The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity has defined sexual addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.”’

‘I’m not responsible for any of this. I have a disease, I plead innocence. There was no collusion and Russia wasn’t once mentioned’.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But may Be Someday

‘I am the World’s Greatest Historian’ - Donald J Trump

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

For once, Trump is not lying. He has learned well from studying the histories of dictators, despots and tyrants. By calling the press ‘The Enemy of the People’, Trump has placed himself squarely in the long arc of history’s Totalitarian Leaders.

He stands proudly alongside many despotic world leaders such as Robespierre, V. Lenin, Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Hugo Chavez, Mao Zedong, Richard Nixon, the Myanmar Military Junta, Kim Jong Un and V Putin…

All of whom, throughout history, have declared that the free press and those who disagreed with them…the ‘Enemy of the People’. Ibsen even wrote a book, Enemy of the People.

Just like his predecessors, in Trump’s Orwellian vision, anyone who sees the world differently than Trump is not only his enemy but the ‘Enemy of the People’ and must be dealt with accordingly.

WikiLeekZ believes that the most amazing thing about Trump’s words is not that he is calling the press and those who oppose him ‘Enemies of the People’, but that he actually has read something, anything!

Really folks, we should give credit where credit is due. He wanted a parade, so how about a parade down Pennsylvania Avenue on April 1^st  - honoring Trump as the World’s Greatest Historian!

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Words Matter

Brennan Honored by Trump…First on Enemas List

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

John Brennan, former CIA director was honored yesterday by being placed on what Sarah Huckabee Sanders called Trumps Enemas List.

While most people, on first thought, would rebel if they were placed on an Enemas List, Former CIA Director, John Brennan, a frequent critic of the president, in an OPED piece in the NY Times, wrote that he considers “being the first to be placed on Trump’s Enemas List to be the crowning achievement of many decades of patriotic service to the nation”.

Others, including Sally Yates, James Comey, James Clapper, Michael Hayden, Susan Rice and Andrew McCabe are some of the additional former officials who may be added to the Enemas List by Trump at any time, according to Sanders.

WikiLeekZ has learned that the White House has been overflowing with questions by numerous former employees of the FBI, DNI and CIA and other security organizations as to why their names have not appeared on the list or as potential candidates for the presidential Enemas List.

A few minutes ago, DC Police have issued a parade permit to the NACC (National Association of Clean Colons) to sponsor a march to the White House with more than 400,000 members protesting the lack of inclusion in Trump’s Enemas List.

The protests have spread like wildfire and even the A-Holes in the White House are now begging the president to add them to what seems to be becoming the prestigious Enemas List.

Trump was seen raging at Chief of Staff Kelly asking him what kind of BS is this anyway? I’m being made a fool of for creating this list…what kind of a S-Hole country are we living in?

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Trump Cleverly Assures McCain of Huge defense budget appropriation Honor

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Yesterday, at Ft Drum, NY, President Trump, while speaking to soldiers, officers, government officials and others, guaranteed that John McCain, whose name is on the defense appropriation bill… the                                                                           

           John S. McCain  National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2019                    would be properly honored throughout the land.

He ingeniously chose not to mention the Senator’s name, who is chairman of the Armed Services Committee at all. In his remarks he introduced by name, generals, elected officials and others and gave himself huge credit for his part in crafting the legislation.

Trump was very clever in his decision not to mention the man for whom the act was named because he knew that in so doing, John McCain would get much more credit from the Fake Newz as they criticized Trump for failing to mention McCain’s name even once in passing.

Trump did this great humanitarian act despite knowing that he would take tremendous flak from the Fake Newz crowd.

Again, proving the tremendous grace and colossal humanity evinced time and again by this unique person who, himself, reminds us every day of his greatness.

Remarkably, there are a few people in the US that feel as if the failure to publicly acknowledge McCain with the appropriation act was an explicit need to disrespect Senator McCain by a small-minded, vindictive little person, devoid of grace, who is wracked with insecurity and feelings of inferiority.

WikiLeekZ is certain that almost everyone, in their heart, understands Trump’s reasoning.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

               

US Canine Population Resents Trump using term ‘Dog’ in Negative way

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Early this morning, in his latest insult in reference to Omarosa Manigault Newman, Trump tweeted…

@real Donald Trump                                                                                                                                    “When you give a crazed, crying lowlife a break, and give her a job at the White House, I guess it just didn’t work out. Good work by General Kelly for quickly firing that dog!”   4:31 AM - 14 Aug 2018

To find out what canines in America thought about the president’s latest tweet, WikiLeekZ interviewed America’s foremost dog whisperer, former Senator, Barbara Boxer’s brother, Blackie Boxer and Blackie’s best friend, Arthur, an American Bulldog.

Amazingly, Blackie is able to translate up to 17 canine dialects into American English. With this in mind, the interview follows:

WikiLeekZ          “What do dogs, I mean canines think about Trump’s use of the word ‘dog’ in describing his former colleague of at least 10 years, Miss Newman?”

Arthur/Blackie   “According to what Arthur has picked up around fire hydrants and while chasing cars, his canine pals feel as if the president, in his latest tweet, used the word ‘dog’ in a very demeaning way. We members of the canine population of America, while accepting ‘dog’ as an affectionate word used by millions of kids and adults throughout the country have come to realize that a certain portion of the population often use ‘dog’ as a pejorative term…entirely unrelated to we canines.

Actually, through the SPCA, Petco, Purina and other canine organizations, we have lobbied for years to have the term ‘canine’ replace ‘dog’ in the common lexicon. In describing our species as canine seems to be a more dignified term befitting ‘Man’s Best Friend’.

Arthur also stated that word has gone out across America that it might be a good idea for the president to be looking over his shoulder to sure a canine is not ready to leap at him and rip off his trousers, or even worse. 

By the way, we canines have our own words for Trump…cur, mongrel, mutt and our favorite…lap dog of Putin.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Written August 1, 2018

Trump Hires More Researchers

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game

Trump’s daily dose of Fox & Friends combined with his own ‘best words’ lie-manufacturing machine simply has not been able to keep up with Trump’s preferred daily lie quotient.

WikiLeekZ has learned that President Trump has hired at least 2 dozen additional researchers to uncover and catalogue even more lies, prevarications, untruths, falsehoods, fictions, fabrications and fallacies.

It turns out that according to the Washington Post today, Trump has averaged 6.5 lies per day since he became president. At that rate, his Lie Shop, staffed by a mere 10 crack researchers, was able to keep up with his prevaricating pace.

However, since July Trump has upped his game to an astounding 16 falsehoods per day which simply overwhelmed his Lie Shop staff. Even the temporary help of Judge Roy Moore, Sean Spicer and Don, Jr could not keep up with the tsunami of untruthfulness emanating from the Liar in Chief.

In addition, as the Mueller investigation heats up, Russian problems grow and with the mid-terms on the horizon, the White House is planning to increase the Lie Shop by a factor of two and move the whole operation to a wing of the Pentagon. This move will accommodate the Lie Shop staff and all of the computers and vetting research material needed to manufacture an estimated 34 lies per day that will soon be needed by the Liar in Chief. In addition, a Russian language component is being assembled.

Trump is preparing a Rose Garden briefing that will extoll the increase in good, high-paying research jobs emanating from the White House. He will say, in all truthfulness, that before he became President, this, until now, highly secret research department did not even exist in any other administration and now is staffed by approximately 150 highly educated professionals and their support staff.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Written August 4, 2018

Trump Denied Entrance to LeBron’s I Promise School

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is our Game

Just days after LeBron James paired with the Akron School District and opened the I Promise School for at-risk kids...

Trump tweeted today...
“Lebron (sic) James was just interviewed by the dumbest man on television, Don Lemon. He made Lebron (sic) look smart, which isn’t easy to do. I like Mike”.

Because Trump has been berated and ridiculed for his lack of scholarship and desire for study, he had decided to enroll in the LeBron James I Promise School in Akron, Ohio just to prove how smart he is.

However, WikiLeekZ has learned from our Akron, OH stringer that President Donald Trump failed to pass the most rudimentary spelling and grammar tests needed to qualify for admittance into James’ newly opened Akron I Promise School.

Trump had already badly failed the preliminary good citizen test as well as the ‘NOT a danger to the Nation’ test, but, given his office, could have had a special entrance waiver had he passed the simple spelling and grammar tests.

When he applied to the new school, Trump evidentially misunderstood that the James-funded school was for ‘at risk’ students, not open to those who would put the nation ‘At Risk’. He also thought that being enrolled in an Ohio school would help him win the presidency in 2020...Ohio being a toss-up state.

Through the school principal’s office, James issued the following statement...

‘While we appreciate the president’s interest in enrolling in our school, he must understand that even though he is president, he must follow the rules in our school charter. ‘At risk’ students does not mean as dumb as the president, it just means that they simply need an opportunity of achieving their potential as good, honest, we’ll-educated citizens of our country’.

‘We, at the I Promise school realize that the president may be disappointed, but there is always the possibility that with earnest study and lessons in civil discourse and civic responsibility, there is an outside chance that he may be able to qualify under the ‘special needs’ student clause in our charter sometime in the future.

‘I would put the chances at about the same % age as the Lakers beating the Warriors for the championship this year’.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday

Written  August 11, 2018

Congress gives Trump a new JOB and TITLE to add to his portfolio.

WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game

Because of his recent tweet that nearly caused the world to plunge into an atomic war, an economic depression and/or a cyber meltdown, Congress, by an overwhelming margin of 95% has given Trump a new JOB and TITLE.

Statement from Joint Congressional Leadership and Supreme Court...

‘From this day henceforth, President Trump will no longer be burdened with the onerous duties of POTUS. Instead, he will become the nations’ first Jester-in-Chief. Until the 2020 presidential election is held and a new President is sworn in, a bi-partisan group of 5 US citizens chosen by popular vote, in a special election held within 7 days, will run the country.

Donald J Trump, Jester-in-Chief, will not be asked to do anything different than what he’s been doing for the past 2 years. The difference will be that everyone in the world will understand that he is entertaining all of us with his incredible tweets, actions and statements which will have absolutely no practical effect except to bring much needed humor in the world.

He can tweet, hold rallies, call Fox & Friends, play golf, rage, play around or even make fun of whomever he chooses. Nothing he does from this day henceforth will be taken seriously by anyone, anywhere. Trump will have no power whatsoever to do anything except to keep the nation in stitches by his pronouncements. Everyone will be free to laugh, snicker or boo Trump in his new capacity as Jester-in-Chief.

In January 2021, when the Jester-in-Chief leaves the White House, after the new president is sworn in, US Marshalls will escort Trump to Robert Mueller’s office and the investigation will continue.

The incoming president will not only take the Oath of Office, but agree that she/he will not pardon Trump or any member of his family for any crimes that they may be found to have committed’.

And that, my friends, is how this sad and dangerous period of our history will conclude.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday