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Sharpie Sales Soar, Thanks to trump!

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The Chief Executive of the parent company of Sharpie, under fire recently for declining sales, got a much needed boost from President trump throughout all of last week.

According to unnamed White House sources, trump himself used a black Sharpie to scrawl on a NWS map to include Alabama in Dorian’s path. Even though that Sharpie addition to the official map has been debunked by real weather experts, it has served a purpose.

Sharpie estimates that it has received tens of millions of dollars in free advertising in that week and it’s a gift that has kept on giving. trump can’t seem to let go of his mistake and has tasked his entire national security staff, the CIA and FBI to come up with excuses, plausible or not, to justify his Sharpie claim. Almost hourly, trump tweets out yet another false narrative as to why he was right in the first place.

The press itself is helping Sharpie sales to soar by dubbing this fiasco ‘SharpieGate’ which necessitated round the clock shifts at Sharpie’s manufacturing plant (actually in the USA) to keep up with increased demand.

Sharpie is going to award the first ever Sharpiest Guy Around honor to trump who will attend the prestigious ceremony at the Oak Brook, IL headquarters. trump stated that he is very honored to receive such an award because no one has ever received such an award in the history of the world. 

Trump further stated that he would use his gift of a boxed set of Sharpies of every color to redraw the boundaries of the US to include Greenland and New Mexico and to exclude cities such as San Francisco, Boston and Baltimore.

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