Not So Surprising Pardon Bombshell !
WikiLeekZ is Our
Name…Satire is Our Game
A Cautionary Tale
A few days
before trump left office as president, he asked his valet for the WDC Yellow Pages.
Then after everyone had gone home for the day, he thumbed through the book in
the ‘N’ section and found what he was looking for - a Notary Public.
He called
Notaries R Us - 24/7 and got Annabelle Van der Boomer on the line. After a few
minutes, trump convinced Miss Van der Boomer to come over to the White House
for a few minutes of work…when she demurred, he offered her an ambassadorship
to a small Pacific island nation.
With that
bonus included, Miss Van der Boomer agreed and a few minutes later entered the
White House through a secret back door. There, she was met by trump wearing his
Asian-style red silk robe emblazoned with both the presidential seal and a
North Korean flag.
trump led Miss
Van der Boomer into a small private office which included a large desk, two
chairs and an oversized couch. The walls were adorned with enlarged photos of
trump with foreign leaders and a photo-shopped inauguration picture filled with
over a million people on the Mall. Miss Van der Boomer surreptitiously pinched
herself and discovered she was not dreaming but indeed was alone with the
president of the USA!
trump
suggested she sit on the couch, get comfortable and he would explain what he
needed from her. At this point, Annabelle, Miss Van der Boomer, began to wonder
exactly what business the president had in mind at 10 o’clock at night.
Trump
offered to take her coat and asked if she wanted to remove her shoes and have a
foot massage…Miss Van der Boomer replied that she was okay and asked what she
could do for the president.
trump got up
from his position next to Van der Boomer, walked over to his desk to pick up a
thin blue presidential folder containing a single sheet of White house
stationery. “I just need you to sign this simple paper and you can leave if you
wish, or you could stay and we could, you know, get to know each other better
and talk about that ambassadorship”.
A thousand
thoughts raced through Annabelle’s mind in the few seconds that it took trump
to retrieve the paper and find a pen. One can imagine how Van der Boomer
weighed the opportunities versus the pitfalls of her situation - and, there was
always the ‘ambassadorship’ to consider.
Her thoughts
were interrupted as trump handed her the sheet of paper with these nearly
illegible, large scrawled words written with a thick black Sharpie.
“I,
Donald trump, the President of the US, being of sound mind-the soundest mind in
the world and a healthy body- the healthiest man-body in the USA, grants
myself, -Donald John Trump, a Full Pardon for all of the so-called crimes I may
have committed or that the Fake FBI says I have committed while being the
Greatest President ever.
Those so-called crimes could
possibly include the hundreds of millions of dollars the Saudi’s gave me for
covering their ass in the Khashoggi thing and the nuclear secrets I handed to
Kim in exchange for a possible a safe haven in N Korea – just in case. Also, as
far as the any other so-called crimes-too many to mention, I pardon myself”.
Signed January 20, 2021
Donald J Trump
In the end,
Miss Van der Boomer read, signed and officially stamped the document and
quickly presented her hastily-written bill. Trump waved her off and said that
his people would contact her people next week. “What about the ambassadorship”? She asked.
“Oh that”, trump then explained to her the
necessary Quid Pro Quo. With just a little trepidation, she finished her part
of the Quid, Pro Quo and re-arranged her blouse, trump told Abigail that his
people would be contacting her people next week about the ambassadorship.
With all
business concluded, Miss Van der Boomer walked out into the freezing night to
her car feeling quite pleased that she was to become an ambassador. As she was
driving home, thinking about that post on an island in a warm country with palm
trees, she suddenly realized that trump was leaving office in a day or two and
in a week, he couldn’t appoint her as an ambassador. She felt that she had been
taken advantage of and couldn’t get that bad taste out of her mouth.
As for
trump, it was just another day of delightful deceit; he slept well with his
‘insurance policy’ safely tucked away.
WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ,
But May Be Someday
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