WikiLeekZ

Trump Skips WWI Commemorative Ceremony Due to Contract Clause

The White House said it canceled Trump's trip to Aisne-Marne American Cemetery and Memorial near Paris "due to scheduling and logistical difficulties caused by the weather."

WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire is Our Game

Many different reasons for Trump not going to the previously scheduled commemoration visit to the Aisne-Marne American Cemetery outside of Paris have come in to our WikiLeekZ  Paris office these past few days. 

A lack of Trump’s favorite umbrellas, the Secret Service not being able to read French road signs, and low energy Trump’s need for his normal 9 hours of ‘Executive Time’ were the 3 most frequently mentioned excuses WikiLeekZ received.

Just for fun, WikiLeekZ decided to dig a little deeper. It turns out that President Trump has two (2) contracts that override any US domestic or foreign policy.

The first contract is with a company named Orange is the New Orange. The contract states that Trump may not subject himself to public displays of his person if there is a possibility that any form of moisture (fog, rain, mist or a saliva projectile) might come into contact with the company’s Facial Enhancement Cream applied to Mr Trump’s face…resulting in a visual degradation of his corpus. 

The second contract is with Farouq Methods, LLC  - Dome Care— a “humidity-resistant fast-drying hair spray” company product. This contract calls for Trump to avoid contact with water in any form such as rain, swimming pools or lakes and oceans while in public view.

It is to Trump’s financial and legal advantage to adhere to the contract as he now owns 24% of each company which he would forfeit by breaking the contract he signed 3 years ago. In addition, a clause in each contract calls for a judicial ruling by the US Supreme Court to determine the penalty to be assessed.

WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ, But May Be Someday