Protestors Spike Economy-trump Takes
Credit
WikiLeekZ is Our Name…Satire
is Our Game
The Council
of Economic Advisors has come out with a study linking the Protest Movement to
a Spike in the Economy. Data from 6 sections of the country indicate that sales
of goods and services associated with the peaceful marchers such as T-Shirts,
Bottles of Water, Masks, Gloves and Goggles have driven a 2% increase in the
national economy.
Other
factors include previous collectors and wearers of Hawaiian Shirts have had to
order new shirts to replace their Boogaloo Boys-themed wardrobe so as not to be
mistaken for that right-wing, AK-47-toting anti-American group.
Ironically,
sales of black pants, shirts and hoodies have also risen due mostly to the need
to replenish the torn and ripped outfits worn by both Antifa and White
Nationalist anarchists.
However, one
troubling sector are online sales of MAGA hats and gear from trump’s merchandising
machine which are declining precipitously due to trump fans’ fear of appearing
really stupid and bigoted in public.
According to
the report, florist shops are doing extremely well as Americans purchase and
lay flowers in tribute to fallen victims of police violence and BLM tee shirts
made by individuals and mom and pop shops are soaring.
National and
local newspapers and radio and TV stations are doing very well because of
increased readership and viewership and Magic Markers and Sharpie sales have
reached all time highs due to the proliferation of homemade signs.
And, last
but not least, there is an uptick in military-grade protective wall and fencing
brought about by trump’s order that not only the White House but all of his
hotels and golf courses be surrounded by 8 foot high protective fencing.
Naturally,
trump was buoyed by the report and issued a statement at a hastily called press
conference proclaiming his genius for adding gasoline to the flames of police
violence protesting.
Trump took
no questions before retreating to his bunker along with a big enough supply of
Big Macs and Diet Cokes to last until November.
WikiLeekZ is NOT the NEWZ,
But May Be Someday
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