WikiLeekZ
Not Related To the
TheONION
“Satire Is Our Game, WikiLeekZ Is Our Name”
http://wikileekz.blogspot.com/
January 8, 2017
Trump vis-à-vis Russia
Exclusive WikiLeekZ Exposé:
WikiLeekZ, has attempted, as many organizations have, to
determine why the PEOTUS has been lauding Russia for months in preference to US
officials, in general, and the intelligence agencies in particular. WikiLeekZ
has recently engaged the services of a 'reporter' who has an uncle, whose
former brother-in-law was the barber of a retired US intelligence officer. At
this time, WikiLeekZ cannot divulge for which agency the barber's customer
worked...for reasons that will soon become obvious.
Our 'reporter' believes that he overheard his uncle at the
other end of a downtown bar explain to a fellow alcoholic about how Putin and
Russia has the goods on Trump. Granted that this 'information' is 4th hand and
from shadowy sources (bars are always dark-ish), WikiLeekZ feels that it must
live up to its tag line..."Satire is our Game" and divulge what its
'reporter' has offered WikiLeekZ in the form of a smuggled report from the
Foreign intelligence Service of Russia.
Our reporter traded 2 Rolling Rock beers for the following
report...
REPORT....Foreign
Intelligence Service of the Russian Federation...Top Secret...to be read only
by top Comrades...
Subject: Donald J
Trump
Father: Frederick
Christ Trump
Mother: Mary Anne
McLeod
Profession: TV host,Trump
brander
The Foreign Intelligence Service maintains a number of
important, valuable assets that will enable the Russian State to maintain
economic, political and personal control
over the subject.
a). The FISRF has
loaned the subject more than (classified to the highest level) Billion Dollars
US that it may call due at any time, effectively ruining the subject
financially. His attempts at re-negotiating the loan have failed miserably,
resulting in an increase of his debt to various Russian Oligarchs by more than
( classified to highest level...the highest) Million Dollars US.
b). At the direction
of our Leader, both the Moscow and St Petersburg Municipal Building Authorities
have stalled the subject's plans for high rise apartments and commercial
offices until such time as the subject fulfills his commitment to acknowledge
the legal Russian takeover of Crimea and the legitimacy of the 'rebellion' in
Eastern Ukraine.
b.2). The subject
must continue his public skepticism of the reality of Russian troops and
Russian military aid to the rebels in E Ukraine.
c). The FISRF
continues to maintain color and B&W still and motion picture evidence of a
highly personal and shocking nature obtained of the subject while he was
visiting Moscow in November 2013 in regard to his Miss Universe-Russia Pageant.
The images are deemed to be most probably certainly DJT 'cavorting' with three
of the contestants and Fuzzy Bear.
This concludes the report of the Russian Foreign
Intelligence Service re: DJT. Voluminous additional files can be found at DJT
material@ ( ....ru).
The Foreign Intelligence Service also maintains complete
incriminating files on all members of the Trump Family, including Barron, who
was caught on video swinging his pet cat by the tail. NOTE: the cat seemed to
like it and kept asking for more...so, this evidence may not be valuable w/o
editing out the cat begging for more swings.
The FISRF will continue its spying activities on all of DJT
activities in Russia, Scotland and the USA and is highly confident that the
file of DJT will continue to increase. The interesting, salacious files of
Melania Knauss(Trump) will now be a part of the DJT portfolio.
Endendendendendend of report on DJT……………………………Endendendendendend................
Zeny
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