WikiLeekZ
Not Related To the
“Satire Is Our Game, WikiLeekZ Is Our Name”
January 16,
2017
WikiLeekZ
Silicon Valley Exclusive:
Donald Trump withdraws Cabinet
nominees in favor of replacements…
WikiLeekZ
has learned from our well-placed Silicon Valley ‘reporter’ that the
President-Elect, Donald J Trump, will ask all of his Cabinet nominees to step
down, with plans to replace them all with two entities.
In NYC,
Trump met secretly yesterday with Amazon head Jeff Bezos and Eric Schmidt of
Alphabet to discuss new Cabinet nominees. Five days after the meeting, Bezos
and Schmidt will make a joint statement which will read:
Recently, we met the President-Elect
and his son, Barron, who Mr Trump says knows a lot about computers, in order to
plot a Brave New World for the United States and, ultimately, the world. As
many of you know, we, in Silicon Valley, have had serious, huge reservations
about the fitness of Mr Trump to manage an enterprise as gigantic as the United
States of America. He simply does not know what he doesn’t know. We (Bezos and
Schmidt) have proposed a solution to this problem and save time and money for
the government (at the same time, assuring a substantial income stream
flowing into our two companies).
Starting on Day One, January 21,
2017, all Cabinet level offices and their employees will be closed. To
compensate for the loss of so much experience and brain power, new models of
Amazon Echo and Google Home will be installed…necessitating only one employee
per office building. The newly named Big
Pal and Big Friend computers
will answer all questions, solve all problems and will not steal office
supplies such as paper clips and Sharpies. No more HR problems.
President Trump will have mega
versions of these 2 machines, Big
Brother Eric and Big Brother Don Jr,
installed in the Oval Office to be operated by Barron who will be given a 2 day
tutorial and a Big Brother for Dummies book. BBE will deal with domestic problems
and BBD will take care of foreign and defense matters. These instruments will
be mobily connected in order to enable the President to play golf or take showers and
at the same time, solve issues such as Crimea, nuclear warfare, health care and
the Middle East question.
But, WikiLeekZ has also learned that the really big news is that, without Trump’s knowledge, Amazon and Alphabet will have direct access to both BBE
and BBD. These two companies have assembled a staff of 1,267 experts to serve
each of these devices. When Trump asks a question or asks for advice, the
assembled teams, who have gamed out 7866 scenarios, will provide Trump with
their recommendation.
Oh, one other thing. Contrary to popular understanding
and unlike (so they say) current home models of Echo and Google Home, BBD and
BBE will be recording visually and with audio, everything that transpires in
the oval office. In addition, the two companies, in concert, are currently
working on a mobile device that follows the president and accomplishes the same
recordings as BBD and BBE in the Oval Office.
Rosemary
Woods is now rolling over in her grave, with glee.
Zeny
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