Trump’s #1 draft
choice, Kyrie Irving, for his National Science
WikiLeekZ is Our Name...Satire is Our Game
February 19, 2016
WikiLeekZ scoop!
While in Florida, DJT made an important announcement regarding
his coterie of advisors. He named Kyrie Irving to the post of National Science
Advisor. When asked how he came to this unusual decision, Trump cited a podcast
he heard yesterday in which Mr Irving, an All Star basketball player with the
Cleveland Cavaliers, stated not only that he “believes the Earth is flat but
that "the jury is still out on what dinosaurs actually looked like”. “This is not even a
conspiracy theory,” Irving said. “The Earth is flat. The Earth is flat.It’s
right in front of our faces. I’m telling you, it’s right in front of our faces.
They lie to us.”
Trump went on to say that Irving attended the prestigious
Duke University (fact: Played with Duke 2010-2011 season) and “if anyone knows what round is, it’s an NBA player
who is in constant contact with a spherical object”.
When asked about the dinosaur statements, Trump opined that
this line of reasoning would go over well in the Bible Belt, the Real America.
WikiLeekZ contacted Irving in New Orleans where he is
playing in the All Star Game, Irving said that he was honored and that he’d be
able to devote a few months after the basketball season to advising the
President.
Irving further noted that he was already hiring a staff including All Star Warrior Draymond Green who echoed Irving’s Flat Earth Theory when he said “I haven’t
heard anything Ky said, so I’m not sure what his argument was. But to think
about that. They said we’ve got pictures of it being round. But I can take my
panoramic camera right now and make this room round. So you can’t tell me a
picture makes it round.”
After hearing Green’s response, Trump
added Green’s name to the list of possible National Security Advisors; saying
that he needed someone with
deductive reasoning skills to counter Bannon and Conway.
This is NOT the NEWS...BUT it MAY BE the NEWS SOMETIME
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